Just me and my 'Ohana: What does hookers mean?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What does hookers mean?

So, it's New Year's Eve and I originally wasn't supposed to have the kids so I had to plan something last minute. I decided to start it off with dinner out at Cafe Rio with friends. We hadn't done that in a long time. So, we're eating our usual yummy Rio dishes when in walks three hoochies in mini skirts up to their...well...you know. Skyscraper heels and make-up like there is no tomorrow! Hair that is sprayed and perfectly in place. So, I casually and quietly state, "we get to celebrate New Year's with hookers!" Well, Mikaela hears me and says, "what does hookers mean?" I'm trying to contain my laughter as well as think quickly how to respond in a quiet manner so as not to drag the nearing Rio diners into this conversation. Then, Mikaela says, "does hookers mean...you like to freeze your legs off?" YES Mikaela...that is exactly what it means. Now eat your burrito!!! Nah, I didn't tell her that, but I wanted to! Then, Mikaela wouldn't let it go and asked, "how do they keep themselves covered with their skirts when they are sitting down?" Hmmmm....that is a problem! Oh ya, and one of the hoochies...totally burped out loud! Nice. Classy.

As we continued eating, we had tons of guys and girls trickle into the Rio. The aforementioned hoochies were part of this group. They were young and dressed to kill. Well, mostly young. There were a few oldies trying to pass themselves off as young-ins. Apparently, the Rio was their meeting place. I have no idea where they were headed, but those girls were in for a very long, cold, painful and uncomfortable night. I just can't imagine hanging out in a tiny skirt with cold legs and high heels. Ouch! There must be easier ways to attract a man! Maybe I'm just gettin' old!

We celebrated the rest of the night at home. We dipped strawberries, fortune cookies and pretzels and had those at midnight along with some pots and pans bangin', texting and fireworks from the local city on our doorstep. Happy 2009!!! I hope it's better than last year! I could really use a "new" year!

4 comments:

Allred Family said...: Happy New Year Larissa! Your Christmas card was beautiful. Thanks for keeping me on the list when I really never send out cards. I always think - this will be the year and then everything hits and I think...maybe next year.; January 7, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Anonymous said...: Just a couple things:

There is not a better way to attract men.

Why didn't you get a number for D-Rock?; January 7, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Larissa said...: Ah...crap, Spew!

The hoochies also grabbed the attention of all the women in the place too! Maybe they're on to something...

Oh ya, "excuse me slutty girls can I"...oh I mean "Hi, totally normally dressed girls...can I get your digits for my brother? Any of you will do...except for belchy over there...thanks."; January 7, 2009 at 7:27 PM
Larissa said...: Noelle,
You didn't do that this year. I enjoyed getting a card from you this year. It was super cute. Good job getting them out!; January 7, 2009 at 7:28 PM

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Quotes that are totally worth remembering

8/7/11: We were visiting my cousin's ranch for a big family dinner and Dalton saw two dogs in the "mating kennel." He kept asking everyone what they were doing. Summer told him they were playing "leap frog" and I said it was actually "leap dog" but he said he didn't believe it. Then, he just kept asking and told us to watch and then even demonstrated. Jake told him the one was giving the other a back massage. Finally, I told him it was a mating kennel and he said, "oh!" I asked him if he knew what it meant and he said, "like a boyfriend and girlfriend?" I said, "well, they're supposed to be husband and wife but dogs don't have weddings. We'll talk more about this later."

6/11: I walked into the house after saying goodbye to my boyfriend and Dalton said to me, "mom, I saw you guys through the window." I said, "oh ya, what did you see?" and he replied, "well, first there was talking...and then there was romance!"

6/28/10: Dalton asked me if I knew grandpa was trying to make a movie. I said yes and he said, "I can't wait to see it cuz grandpa has an imagination."

4/23/10: I overheard Dalton telling Hudson, "I am a 7 year old! There's no way I can have a bunch of upgrades that I can keep track of!" (You know upgrades on the DS..trust me, it was funny.)

2-27-10: Suzanne's wedding photographer was Summer's ex boyfriend Mike. He was in one of the rooms uploading photos to his laptop and Dalton sat down beside him and said, "so, are you having a good time at work?"

2-26-10: Grandpa offered me something to eat and we both knew it had meat in it. I asked him if it had meat in it and he said yes and I said, "um...no thank you!" Then Dalton said, "she's not a fan of meat."

2-26-10: We were trying Dalton's tux on him for Suzanne's wedding. It was too big so we were trying to figure out what we were going to do to fix it. Dalton said, "I don't know why adults get so obsessed with nice clothes. They're all like, oh it doesn't fit, it's too big."

12-30-09: Hudson was making Mii's on the Wii and asked how tall grandpa was. Dani said he was 6 foot and is the tallest in our family and Hudson replied..."not for long!" (He was told by a Dr. when he was 2 that he might be 6' 1" and he is holding on to that one!)

12-19-09: I asked all the kids if they liked the movie "The Princess and the Frog" that they had seen the night before with grandpa and the cousins and they all liked it except Dalton. I asked if he liked the movie and he said, "I didn't really like it." I said, "Why?" and he said, "because it was too lovey."

12-7-09: We were making gingerbread houses with the cousins and I overhear Hudson tell Dalton who just sat on his lap, "dude, that probably hurt your nuts." Dalton said, "it didn't hurt my nuts." So I said, "Dalton do you know what nuts are?" and he said, "balls" and then I said, "do you know what balls are?" and he pointed down towards his lap with a smile. And this whole time I still thought my baby was innocent. {sniff, sniff}

8-20-09: Cham asked Dalton how school was going so far. He said, "ok" and she asked how his teacher was and he said, "she's ok...she's kinda strict." Cham asked, "isn't it easy for you because you're such a rule follower?" Dalton said, "No, I've had a lot of hard stuff in my life!" (So, I'm wondering what he's going to say, right?) He continues, "Like laps...I have to run laps without stopping and it's really hard!"

7-10-09: We were getting in my car and Hudson says to me, "how's your tire pressure, mom?" I asked him how he knows about tire pressure and he said, "scouts." I love my little man.

5-20-09: Dalton made some comment about two people making out. I asked him if he knew what making out meant. He said, "isn't it just kissing a lot?" I said, "well, yes but you can't do that till you're like 45!" Dalton said, "45! My dad's not even 45...you mean dad hasn't made out?!?"

5-11-09: Hudson was having a coughing fit and Dalton says, "Hudson, you've gotta lay off the hot sauce!"

5-4-09: Dalton said, "Mom, I know that no one likes a back seat driver...but the speed limit is 40!"

1-20-09: Dalton said, "I don't know why but Mikaela wears bras! Not to be rude but...she's only 12!"

1-17-09: The kids were eating lunch and Dalton was the last one to finish. We were in a hurry so I said, "Dalton, hurry up. We need to go. Eat faster." He replied, "I'm enjoying my food...that's what I do!"

12-20-08: We went to Hudson's basketball game and when we got to the car he was goofing off and I said "get in...hurry...I'm freezing! And, you should be cold too since you're in shorts!" Hudson replies, "I can handle it cause I'm a man and you're not!"

12-18-08: We went to Ari's first dance recital. She used Mikaela's curly hairpiece to fit over her bun and give her a ponytail of curls. So, cute. Afterwards we took pictures and Cham says to Dalton "you didn't have your picture taken with Ari. She is the star tonight, you know?" Dalton says, "well I don't know about that, but she has the biggest hair!"

12-8-08: We have one humidifier that we are all trying to share right now. I had it in Mikaela's room and was planning to move it to the boys room when I went to bed that night. I didn't move it and in the morning Hudson came in my room and said, "mom, you forgot to put the fumigator in our room!" Fumigator is right! Two boys in one room. Maybe he's onto something...

12-5-08: Everyone was getting haircuts and it was Dalton's turn. He's talking to the lady and she's laughing at him. She says, "you're cute!" He says, "yep!" She later says, "you're funny!" He says, "yep!" Then she says, "How old are you?" He says, "six!" She says, "Are you sure you're not 16?" He replies, "nope...not even six and a half!" She replies, "you're just so well-spoken."

11-30-08: Dalton needed to go to the bathroom and we were at a public place so I made him go in the womens bathroom with me. (I worry about him going into a public bathroom alone and without Hudson!) So, we head in and Dalton says "mom, when it's just you and me and we go to the girls' bathroom...it's kinda embarassing!" Poor kid...what to do?

11-13-08: Dalton was eating Total cereal and he said "this cereal doesn't have any taste. It's kinda boring to eat."

Dalton came out of the bathroom and told Summer..."I wouldn't go in there for like 2 days!"

Hudson and I were making ziploc omelets which he learned how to do in scouts. It was taking a while and D-rock jokingly says "eggs take 10 years to cook." Hudson jokingly responds "no they don't because I've had eggs and I'm nine." He's such a smart alec but he put D-rock in his place.

I had reminded Dalton that this was his last day of kindegarten and he would never be a kindegartner again. I went to pick him up from school and he comes out saying "mom, it's my last day of kindegarten and I still can't read!" I guess he assumed it would all pop into his head suddenly on the last day!

We were at the pool and Dalton said something about needing to do something for our aunt Alicia. Mikaela said "Dalton, you know she's not our real aunt, don't you?" Dalton exclaimed "Why didn't anyone tell me that my whole life!"

Mikaela was telling about a situation with a "mean girl" at school and she was going on and on about the nastiness of it all and Hudson said "too bad you're not a boy, Mikaela, we don't have that stuff!" How true!

Summer asked Dalton to stop growing up and he said "Not gonna happen!" Then, she later said it again and he replied "I can't, it's impossible!"

We were trying to find something for Dalton to take to "show and tell" and he was turning everything down. Finally he says "show and tell is just disappointing." So, we quit and he went to school without anything.

Dalton was telling us that he thought this girl in his class named Kylee was cute. Later that evening, as we were eating dinner, someone said to Dalton "Dalton, you're cute!" Then he replies "so's Kylee."

Dalton made a craft project. He said, "I can't wait for Hudson to come home, he'll just criticize it." Looks like I need to educate Hudsy bear so he's not so critical. He comes by it genetically, this won't be easy.

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Just me and my 'Ohana

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What does hookers mean?

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