Help! I have a situation. This is not your regular situation and it's going to be hard to explain what life is like for Mikaela without publicizing things that really shouldn't be publicized. But, my problem is that Mikaela hates piano. (I know you are all thinking that EVERY kid hates piano, but seriously, this is awful!) She absolutely hates it. The last few months, she has consistently not practiced well and not learned her songs. She even had to drop out of her last federation and AIM performances in March. She was completely unprepared for her recital and at the last minute dropped out of that. She stalls and stalls while avoiding practicing. I ask her over and over again to practice and then I get stern and start with the consequences and nothing. She sits at the piano and cries and cries and says all kinds of rude things to herself. She makes an hour piano practice last 2-3 hours and she still hasn't successfully practiced. I can sit with her some of the time, but we can't get past the bawling and destructive self talk. I'm exhausted and frustrated and I am really wondering why I am pushing this. Now, you have to keep in mind that there are some issues here that I can't explain as to the entire dynamic of our life situation. Just know that it's not the type of life where you come home from school and deal with the usual homework, piano, extracurricular activities and dinner time and chatting with friends, etc. There's some extenuating circumstances surrounding things. I wish I could tell you all of it because I think it might help you to understand but, just imagine chaos and mayhem and times it by 10 and you might be close to what we all deal with. You might think I'm kidding or feeling sorry for myself but, I'm not!
See, here's the background. Mikaela wanted to play piano so I signed her up. She has taken lessons for four years. She has a really good, yet strict piano teacher. Her teacher loves her to death and sees she has talent and has made every exception under the sun to try and make things simpler for Mikaela. Mikaela has always fought practicing, but that is how every child is, right? But lately, things are horrible! She goes to her dad's house every other weekend and Wednesday nights as well as half of any breaks and half the holidays. Oftentimes, he does not make her practice. She will go days without practicing at his house. He has even told her to just quit. He blames me for forcing her to take piano and calls me all these terrible names in front of the kids. He will do and say anything that is opposite of what I say and do. He will never support anything and he will always sabotage my efforts. He was forced to play piano as a child and it has served him no benefit at all. He hates it and every time it is brought up it is discussed with hate and anger. So, I am asking myself why I am doing this? It costs me a lot of money every month that I really don't have. It costs in gas and time to drive her there as well as the constant supply of books that are necessary. Our relationship is suffering and I just don't want this to be the thing she holds against me. Especially, when my personal opinion is that it just isn't important anymore. I have explained all the reasons to keep playing and to just keep with it and it will get better and better. She just doesn't care. She finds no joy in it whatsoever. Another piano teacher told me that it is supposed to be at least enjoyable. She is super emotional anyway because of her family situation and the hormones and being a
pre-teen and all the stuff that comes with that. I wanna know why I should keep this up? I guess what I need to hear from people is that it isn't going to kill us if I let her quit. You know...it will be okay if she quits. It's really sad because she does have talent and I hate to see it all go to waste as well as all the time and money invested so far. But, I also hate to see her end up depressed, suicidal, drug addicted, a runaway, etc. Because if anything like that happens, none of this will matter anyway. But, I don't want to give in to her and let her win anything especially if she is using manipulation. But I also don't have it in me to fight her on this any longer. And, things are really bad right now. REALLY BAD! I can't tell you what or why but please trust me that she is going through what no 12 year old should ever go through. I get really angry even writing about it. So, let me know your thoughts. I've been praying about it and I am going to the temple about it, but I still want to know what you all think. Please be honest yet gentle. I don't need any more brutality! Thanks for being great friends!
