One thing that happens when you get divorced....a lot of people come out of the woodwork to confide in you and ask you questions. I know...cuz I wanted to do that too. I didn't have a ton of people who had been through it there to help me but I wanted it so desperately. So, I have always tried to be that person, if I could. I did have my family and few close friends and I appreciate their being there for me so much. I have tried to be a supportive friend for each of these people in my life. Encouraging them to make sure they do what they KNOW is best for their families. I have never encouraged divorce or being single because the reality of it is....it SUCKS!!! But, in some cases (and only the person living in that case can really KNOW) it is the only choice!
But through all of this, I have SO many friends (mostly girls) who's ex husbands are "trying" to get them back by way of lies and manipulation. They are stringing them along and toying with their hearts and collecting their own "jar of hearts" but in the process, they are damaging these poor people! And, I have many friends who have attempted to reconcile with someone who used lies and manipulation only to find out that NOTHING has changed. And, they get to go through the breakup all over AGAIN! And, some of them even come out with another child to go along with their broken hearts in some cases tying them together FOREVER!
It's sad that being alone can be so painful that we would actually even CONSIDER going back to the ex that broke us in the first place! But, so many of us do....because like I said...being single and alone sucks! But, the lesson we all need to learn is that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than be together for the wrong! It breaks my heart to hear these girls crying because of their ex's antics. I have felt their pain...and I have cried along with them. So, I'm dedicating this song to those girls or guys in my life that need that extra ability to see through the lies and the strength to do what is BEST for YOU and your CHILDREN!!! Make sure you read through the amazing lyrics! And a big thank you to my cute friend Val for posting this on her blog! I encourage you all to pray to know what is true, pray for strength to do what you need to do, pray for help to get over them, work on yourself through therapy and self help books and promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb you! Love ya!
Jar of Hearts
No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
Created on FACEinHOLE.com
My motto
Salt Lake Temple
Quotes that are totally worth remembering
8/7/11: We were visiting my cousin's ranch for a big family dinner and Dalton saw two dogs in the "mating kennel." He kept asking everyone what they were doing. Summer told him they were playing "leap frog" and I said it was actually "leap dog" but he said he didn't believe it. Then, he just kept asking and told us to watch and then even demonstrated. Jake told him the one was giving the other a back massage. Finally, I told him it was a mating kennel and he said, "oh!" I asked him if he knew what it meant and he said, "like a boyfriend and girlfriend?" I said, "well, they're supposed to be husband and wife but dogs don't have weddings. We'll talk more about this later."
6/11: I walked into the house after saying goodbye to my boyfriend and Dalton said to me, "mom, I saw you guys through the window." I said, "oh ya, what did you see?" and he replied, "well, first there was talking...and then there was romance!"
6/28/10: Dalton asked me if I knew grandpa was trying to make a movie. I said yes and he said, "I can't wait to see it cuz grandpa has an imagination."
4/23/10: I overheard Dalton telling Hudson, "I am a 7 year old! There's no way I can have a bunch of upgrades that I can keep track of!" (You know upgrades on the DS..trust me, it was funny.)
2-27-10: Suzanne's wedding photographer was Summer's ex boyfriend Mike. He was in one of the rooms uploading photos to his laptop and Dalton sat down beside him and said, "so, are you having a good time at work?"
2-26-10: Grandpa offered me something to eat and we both knew it had meat in it. I asked him if it had meat in it and he said yes and I said, "um...no thank you!" Then Dalton said, "she's not a fan of meat."
2-26-10: We were trying Dalton's tux on him for Suzanne's wedding. It was too big so we were trying to figure out what we were going to do to fix it. Dalton said, "I don't know why adults get so obsessed with nice clothes. They're all like, oh it doesn't fit, it's too big."
12-30-09: Hudson was making Mii's on the Wii and asked how tall grandpa was. Dani said he was 6 foot and is the tallest in our family and Hudson replied..."not for long!" (He was told by a Dr. when he was 2 that he might be 6' 1" and he is holding on to that one!)
12-19-09: I asked all the kids if they liked the movie "The Princess and the Frog" that they had seen the night before with grandpa and the cousins and they all liked it except Dalton. I asked if he liked the movie and he said, "I didn't really like it." I said, "Why?" and he said, "because it was too lovey."
12-7-09: We were making gingerbread houses with the cousins and I overhear Hudson tell Dalton who just sat on his lap, "dude, that probably hurt your nuts." Dalton said, "it didn't hurt my nuts." So I said, "Dalton do you know what nuts are?" and he said, "balls" and then I said, "do you know what balls are?" and he pointed down towards his lap with a smile. And this whole time I still thought my baby was innocent. {sniff, sniff}
8-20-09: Cham asked Dalton how school was going so far. He said, "ok" and she asked how his teacher was and he said, "she's ok...she's kinda strict." Cham asked, "isn't it easy for you because you're such a rule follower?" Dalton said, "No, I've had a lot of hard stuff in my life!" (So, I'm wondering what he's going to say, right?) He continues, "Like laps...I have to run laps without stopping and it's really hard!"
7-10-09: We were getting in my car and Hudson says to me, "how's your tire pressure, mom?" I asked him how he knows about tire pressure and he said, "scouts." I love my little man.
5-20-09: Dalton made some comment about two people making out. I asked him if he knew what making out meant. He said, "isn't it just kissing a lot?" I said, "well, yes but you can't do that till you're like 45!" Dalton said, "45! My dad's not even 45...you mean dad hasn't made out?!?"
5-11-09: Hudson was having a coughing fit and Dalton says, "Hudson, you've gotta lay off the hot sauce!"
5-4-09: Dalton said, "Mom, I know that no one likes a back seat driver...but the speed limit is 40!"
1-20-09: Dalton said, "I don't know why but Mikaela wears bras! Not to be rude but...she's only 12!"
1-17-09: The kids were eating lunch and Dalton was the last one to finish. We were in a hurry so I said, "Dalton, hurry up. We need to go. Eat faster." He replied, "I'm enjoying my food...that's what I do!"
12-20-08: We went to Hudson's basketball game and when we got to the car he was goofing off and I said "get in...hurry...I'm freezing! And, you should be cold too since you're in shorts!" Hudson replies, "I can handle it cause I'm a man and you're not!"
12-18-08: We went to Ari's first dance recital. She used Mikaela's curly hairpiece to fit over her bun and give her a ponytail of curls. So, cute. Afterwards we took pictures and Cham says to Dalton "you didn't have your picture taken with Ari. She is the star tonight, you know?" Dalton says, "well I don't know about that, but she has the biggest hair!"
12-8-08: We have one humidifier that we are all trying to share right now. I had it in Mikaela's room and was planning to move it to the boys room when I went to bed that night. I didn't move it and in the morning Hudson came in my room and said, "mom, you forgot to put the fumigator in our room!" Fumigator is right! Two boys in one room. Maybe he's onto something...
12-5-08: Everyone was getting haircuts and it was Dalton's turn. He's talking to the lady and she's laughing at him. She says, "you're cute!" He says, "yep!" She later says, "you're funny!" He says, "yep!" Then she says, "How old are you?" He says, "six!" She says, "Are you sure you're not 16?" He replies, "nope...not even six and a half!" She replies, "you're just so well-spoken."
11-30-08: Dalton needed to go to the bathroom and we were at a public place so I made him go in the womens bathroom with me. (I worry about him going into a public bathroom alone and without Hudson!) So, we head in and Dalton says "mom, when it's just you and me and we go to the girls' bathroom...it's kinda embarassing!" Poor kid...what to do?
11-13-08: Dalton was eating Total cereal and he said "this cereal doesn't have any taste. It's kinda boring to eat."
Dalton came out of the bathroom and told Summer..."I wouldn't go in there for like 2 days!"
Hudson and I were making ziploc omelets which he learned how to do in scouts. It was taking a while and D-rock jokingly says "eggs take 10 years to cook." Hudson jokingly responds "no they don't because I've had eggs and I'm nine." He's such a smart alec but he put D-rock in his place.
I had reminded Dalton that this was his last day of kindegarten and he would never be a kindegartner again. I went to pick him up from school and he comes out saying "mom, it's my last day of kindegarten and I still can't read!" I guess he assumed it would all pop into his head suddenly on the last day!
We were at the pool and Dalton said something about needing to do something for our aunt Alicia. Mikaela said "Dalton, you know she's not our real aunt, don't you?" Dalton exclaimed "Why didn't anyone tell me that my whole life!"
Mikaela was telling about a situation with a "mean girl" at school and she was going on and on about the nastiness of it all and Hudson said "too bad you're not a boy, Mikaela, we don't have that stuff!" How true!
Summer asked Dalton to stop growing up and he said "Not gonna happen!" Then, she later said it again and he replied "I can't, it's impossible!"
We were trying to find something for Dalton to take to "show and tell" and he was turning everything down. Finally he says "show and tell is just disappointing." So, we quit and he went to school without anything.
Dalton was telling us that he thought this girl in his class named Kylee was cute. Later that evening, as we were eating dinner, someone said to Dalton "Dalton, you're cute!" Then he replies "so's Kylee."
Dalton made a craft project. He said, "I can't wait for Hudson to come home, he'll just criticize it." Looks like I need to educate Hudsy bear so he's not so critical. He comes by it genetically, this won't be easy.
6/11: I walked into the house after saying goodbye to my boyfriend and Dalton said to me, "mom, I saw you guys through the window." I said, "oh ya, what did you see?" and he replied, "well, first there was talking...and then there was romance!"
6/28/10: Dalton asked me if I knew grandpa was trying to make a movie. I said yes and he said, "I can't wait to see it cuz grandpa has an imagination."
4/23/10: I overheard Dalton telling Hudson, "I am a 7 year old! There's no way I can have a bunch of upgrades that I can keep track of!" (You know upgrades on the DS..trust me, it was funny.)
2-27-10: Suzanne's wedding photographer was Summer's ex boyfriend Mike. He was in one of the rooms uploading photos to his laptop and Dalton sat down beside him and said, "so, are you having a good time at work?"
2-26-10: Grandpa offered me something to eat and we both knew it had meat in it. I asked him if it had meat in it and he said yes and I said, "um...no thank you!" Then Dalton said, "she's not a fan of meat."
2-26-10: We were trying Dalton's tux on him for Suzanne's wedding. It was too big so we were trying to figure out what we were going to do to fix it. Dalton said, "I don't know why adults get so obsessed with nice clothes. They're all like, oh it doesn't fit, it's too big."
12-30-09: Hudson was making Mii's on the Wii and asked how tall grandpa was. Dani said he was 6 foot and is the tallest in our family and Hudson replied..."not for long!" (He was told by a Dr. when he was 2 that he might be 6' 1" and he is holding on to that one!)
12-19-09: I asked all the kids if they liked the movie "The Princess and the Frog" that they had seen the night before with grandpa and the cousins and they all liked it except Dalton. I asked if he liked the movie and he said, "I didn't really like it." I said, "Why?" and he said, "because it was too lovey."
12-7-09: We were making gingerbread houses with the cousins and I overhear Hudson tell Dalton who just sat on his lap, "dude, that probably hurt your nuts." Dalton said, "it didn't hurt my nuts." So I said, "Dalton do you know what nuts are?" and he said, "balls" and then I said, "do you know what balls are?" and he pointed down towards his lap with a smile. And this whole time I still thought my baby was innocent. {sniff, sniff}
8-20-09: Cham asked Dalton how school was going so far. He said, "ok" and she asked how his teacher was and he said, "she's ok...she's kinda strict." Cham asked, "isn't it easy for you because you're such a rule follower?" Dalton said, "No, I've had a lot of hard stuff in my life!" (So, I'm wondering what he's going to say, right?) He continues, "Like laps...I have to run laps without stopping and it's really hard!"
7-10-09: We were getting in my car and Hudson says to me, "how's your tire pressure, mom?" I asked him how he knows about tire pressure and he said, "scouts." I love my little man.
5-20-09: Dalton made some comment about two people making out. I asked him if he knew what making out meant. He said, "isn't it just kissing a lot?" I said, "well, yes but you can't do that till you're like 45!" Dalton said, "45! My dad's not even 45...you mean dad hasn't made out?!?"
5-11-09: Hudson was having a coughing fit and Dalton says, "Hudson, you've gotta lay off the hot sauce!"
5-4-09: Dalton said, "Mom, I know that no one likes a back seat driver...but the speed limit is 40!"
1-20-09: Dalton said, "I don't know why but Mikaela wears bras! Not to be rude but...she's only 12!"
1-17-09: The kids were eating lunch and Dalton was the last one to finish. We were in a hurry so I said, "Dalton, hurry up. We need to go. Eat faster." He replied, "I'm enjoying my food...that's what I do!"
12-20-08: We went to Hudson's basketball game and when we got to the car he was goofing off and I said "get in...hurry...I'm freezing! And, you should be cold too since you're in shorts!" Hudson replies, "I can handle it cause I'm a man and you're not!"
12-18-08: We went to Ari's first dance recital. She used Mikaela's curly hairpiece to fit over her bun and give her a ponytail of curls. So, cute. Afterwards we took pictures and Cham says to Dalton "you didn't have your picture taken with Ari. She is the star tonight, you know?" Dalton says, "well I don't know about that, but she has the biggest hair!"
12-8-08: We have one humidifier that we are all trying to share right now. I had it in Mikaela's room and was planning to move it to the boys room when I went to bed that night. I didn't move it and in the morning Hudson came in my room and said, "mom, you forgot to put the fumigator in our room!" Fumigator is right! Two boys in one room. Maybe he's onto something...
12-5-08: Everyone was getting haircuts and it was Dalton's turn. He's talking to the lady and she's laughing at him. She says, "you're cute!" He says, "yep!" She later says, "you're funny!" He says, "yep!" Then she says, "How old are you?" He says, "six!" She says, "Are you sure you're not 16?" He replies, "nope...not even six and a half!" She replies, "you're just so well-spoken."
11-30-08: Dalton needed to go to the bathroom and we were at a public place so I made him go in the womens bathroom with me. (I worry about him going into a public bathroom alone and without Hudson!) So, we head in and Dalton says "mom, when it's just you and me and we go to the girls' bathroom...it's kinda embarassing!" Poor kid...what to do?
11-13-08: Dalton was eating Total cereal and he said "this cereal doesn't have any taste. It's kinda boring to eat."
Dalton came out of the bathroom and told Summer..."I wouldn't go in there for like 2 days!"
Hudson and I were making ziploc omelets which he learned how to do in scouts. It was taking a while and D-rock jokingly says "eggs take 10 years to cook." Hudson jokingly responds "no they don't because I've had eggs and I'm nine." He's such a smart alec but he put D-rock in his place.
I had reminded Dalton that this was his last day of kindegarten and he would never be a kindegartner again. I went to pick him up from school and he comes out saying "mom, it's my last day of kindegarten and I still can't read!" I guess he assumed it would all pop into his head suddenly on the last day!
We were at the pool and Dalton said something about needing to do something for our aunt Alicia. Mikaela said "Dalton, you know she's not our real aunt, don't you?" Dalton exclaimed "Why didn't anyone tell me that my whole life!"
Mikaela was telling about a situation with a "mean girl" at school and she was going on and on about the nastiness of it all and Hudson said "too bad you're not a boy, Mikaela, we don't have that stuff!" How true!
Summer asked Dalton to stop growing up and he said "Not gonna happen!" Then, she later said it again and he replied "I can't, it's impossible!"
We were trying to find something for Dalton to take to "show and tell" and he was turning everything down. Finally he says "show and tell is just disappointing." So, we quit and he went to school without anything.
Dalton was telling us that he thought this girl in his class named Kylee was cute. Later that evening, as we were eating dinner, someone said to Dalton "Dalton, you're cute!" Then he replies "so's Kylee."
Dalton made a craft project. He said, "I can't wait for Hudson to come home, he'll just criticize it." Looks like I need to educate Hudsy bear so he's not so critical. He comes by it genetically, this won't be easy.
A few of my tunes...
Me Likey...
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All images and original content on this blog site are the sole property of Moi and are not to be used, reproduced or transmitted without my written consent. I know it is tempting because my life is the epitome of awesomeness and who wouldn't want to steal it? But don't, because if you steal a part of it, you must take all of it. You must then take over my life and I promise you this...you will want to return it and there are no returns, take backsies or do overs! (Believe me, I've tried!)
All images and original content on this blog site are the sole property of Moi and are not to be used, reproduced or transmitted without my written consent. I know it is tempting because my life is the epitome of awesomeness and who wouldn't want to steal it? But don't, because if you steal a part of it, you must take all of it. You must then take over my life and I promise you this...you will want to return it and there are no returns, take backsies or do overs! (Believe me, I've tried!)
2 comments:
Thank you for posting the song. Your blog is inspiring and helps me on the rough days - thanks for sharing your experience. :)
**Divorced LDS Mommy of three great kids :)
I seriously love that song. I actually just heard it for my first time the other day. My sister is going through this kind of stuff right now. Just brakes my heart.
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