Monday, March 30, 2009

I can't even think of a title...

I've had a terrible week. It started out sad. Sad about all things I hate like cancer, mental illness and such. Sad that young people die. Sad that life is hard. Sad that things don't turn out like you plan. know? Then, sad turned to shock and as that wore off it turned to extreme hurt and then anger.

Makes me wonder why?

Why are people so mean?

Why are even good people so hurtful?

I was betrayed this week. By someone who I thought I knew. Someone I trusted with my life. Someone that did something so shocking that no one else I know has advice on how to handle it.

Life is confusing.

I don't understand people.

I don't understand human-ness. But, I'm not sure that's all this is.

I know that not everyone has to deal with craziness. Some have to deal with other pains. I don't want any of it and I don't wish it on anyone. But, I especially don't like crazy. I guess that means I'm ready for the other side. Is this how it has to feel in order to desire it, rather than fear it? Do we have to be hurt so painfully here on earth, that we can only look for respite on the other side? I don't think I would feel this over there. I don't think this person would think evil thoughts and do such hurtful actions over there. I've never had this happen before. Will the craziness ever end? Can't I just be a daughter of God, doing my best, raising my children and living the best life I can? None of us are perfect, but we're not supposed to hurt each other either. There are better ways of dealing with issues. I guess that's when you let go.

I'm back to feeling sad.


Allred Family said...

Oh Larissa - I wish I could give you a hug. I am sorry about whatever happened. Noelle

Keli said...

Crazy people suck. I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do, let me know.

Hillary said...

That is awful. Let me know if there is anything I can do. I love you and think you are awsome.

I know I have not been the best of friend at keeping in touch, but know that I am always here for you