Just me and my 'Ohana: November 2009

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Too many freaks...not enough circuses!

Ok...dating sucks! There are just a bunch of freaks out there. There are SOME good ones but MOST of them are big fat liars and are just not who they say they are! And, I'm just getting started in this arena. I finally decided to join the ranks of online daters. I had three friends that had a lot of luck with online dating, so I decided to give it a try. Huge mistake! Or, maybe the mistake lies in the site I used. I dunno...but either way, it still stinks. You get all sorts out there. The guys who aren't divorced yet, the guys who can't spell or use proper grammar (the "we was-ers"), or the cussers, the LDS social drinkers, the psychos or just plain 'ole creepos.

So, here's what happened in just a few short weeks:

I have a bunch of people who say they want to hook me up, but nothing seems to come from that. I have a couple guys I already know that SAY they want to go out but, when you actually tell them you are willing...they don't ASK. What's up with that? I know, I know....he's just not that into you! I watch the movie once a month to avoid becoming THAT girl.

Then, there's the guys that you're not totally interested in, but you're willing to give it a try in case you have a little chemistry upon meeting that seems to be lacking on the internet. Then, you meet or talk on the phone and BAM...nothing...no chemistry whatsoever on your end. But, they are feeling it BIG TIME on their end. So, what now? It's time to kick 'em to the curb and that is oh.so.not.fun!

I had one guy tell me I had Barbie feet with amazing arches! CrEePy!!!

Within one week I had these two experiences:

1. Guy emails me. He's cute enough, educated, employed, writes well, LDS, not a social drinker, etc. So, the next day, I decide to respond to his email. I look at his profile picture and the dude has changed all his pictures to pictures of some chick! Then, he's changed all his "about me" crap to stuff like this: "Oh Camille, I love you so much. I can't believe I let you go. I can't believe I waited too long and forced you to leave me before I could realize how much I truly love you. I've met the woman I want to spend my life with and I need help finding her." And on and on and on. Can you believe this dirt bag? Emailing girls the night before he obsessively changes his profile. And, just a little FYI...this hasn't happened to any of my other friends before. It's apparently some freak thing I get to experience. Yay me!

2. Guy emails me. Guy looks oddly familiar. Now, I should say that I am really good with names and usually faces too. This guy tells me his first name and he lives around my neck of the woods. He's younger, so I don't know him personally but I realize who he is. A long time ago, I saw this guy who was a friend of a friend on facebook. I was looking through his pictures and he was a big show off. Pictures of his big house, boat, ATVs, motorcycles, motorhome, etc. Huge bragger! The reason I was looking at him is because I recognized his name from a business transaction that took place years ago. The dude refused to pay his bill and I kept trying and trying to contact him until I finally sent him to collections. So, the guy is a huge credit bandit! He keeps emailing me and has no clue that I know he is a big fat loser! Yuck!

So, what this made me realize is, that I know absolutely nothing about these guys. They are all big fat liars and fakes. And, what if I had gotten involved with either of them before I found out what freaks they were?

I know all of my professional dater friends are laughing at me and saying I told you so...but come on. Seriously?!? Is this what it's really like out there...or do I have issues? I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. I think I'll just become crazy cat lady.

And why is it that cat woman is considered HAWT, but cat lady is just CRAZY?!? That's for another post.

Quotes that are totally worth remembering

8/7/11: We were visiting my cousin's ranch for a big family dinner and Dalton saw two dogs in the "mating kennel." He kept asking everyone what they were doing. Summer told him they were playing "leap frog" and I said it was actually "leap dog" but he said he didn't believe it. Then, he just kept asking and told us to watch and then even demonstrated. Jake told him the one was giving the other a back massage. Finally, I told him it was a mating kennel and he said, "oh!" I asked him if he knew what it meant and he said, "like a boyfriend and girlfriend?" I said, "well, they're supposed to be husband and wife but dogs don't have weddings. We'll talk more about this later."

6/11: I walked into the house after saying goodbye to my boyfriend and Dalton said to me, "mom, I saw you guys through the window." I said, "oh ya, what did you see?" and he replied, "well, first there was talking...and then there was romance!"

6/28/10: Dalton asked me if I knew grandpa was trying to make a movie. I said yes and he said, "I can't wait to see it cuz grandpa has an imagination."

4/23/10: I overheard Dalton telling Hudson, "I am a 7 year old! There's no way I can have a bunch of upgrades that I can keep track of!" (You know upgrades on the DS..trust me, it was funny.)

2-27-10: Suzanne's wedding photographer was Summer's ex boyfriend Mike. He was in one of the rooms uploading photos to his laptop and Dalton sat down beside him and said, "so, are you having a good time at work?"

2-26-10: Grandpa offered me something to eat and we both knew it had meat in it. I asked him if it had meat in it and he said yes and I said, "um...no thank you!" Then Dalton said, "she's not a fan of meat."

2-26-10: We were trying Dalton's tux on him for Suzanne's wedding. It was too big so we were trying to figure out what we were going to do to fix it. Dalton said, "I don't know why adults get so obsessed with nice clothes. They're all like, oh it doesn't fit, it's too big."

12-30-09: Hudson was making Mii's on the Wii and asked how tall grandpa was. Dani said he was 6 foot and is the tallest in our family and Hudson replied..."not for long!" (He was told by a Dr. when he was 2 that he might be 6' 1" and he is holding on to that one!)

12-19-09: I asked all the kids if they liked the movie "The Princess and the Frog" that they had seen the night before with grandpa and the cousins and they all liked it except Dalton. I asked if he liked the movie and he said, "I didn't really like it." I said, "Why?" and he said, "because it was too lovey."

12-7-09: We were making gingerbread houses with the cousins and I overhear Hudson tell Dalton who just sat on his lap, "dude, that probably hurt your nuts." Dalton said, "it didn't hurt my nuts." So I said, "Dalton do you know what nuts are?" and he said, "balls" and then I said, "do you know what balls are?" and he pointed down towards his lap with a smile. And this whole time I still thought my baby was innocent. {sniff, sniff}

8-20-09: Cham asked Dalton how school was going so far. He said, "ok" and she asked how his teacher was and he said, "she's ok...she's kinda strict." Cham asked, "isn't it easy for you because you're such a rule follower?" Dalton said, "No, I've had a lot of hard stuff in my life!" (So, I'm wondering what he's going to say, right?) He continues, "Like laps...I have to run laps without stopping and it's really hard!"

7-10-09: We were getting in my car and Hudson says to me, "how's your tire pressure, mom?" I asked him how he knows about tire pressure and he said, "scouts." I love my little man.

5-20-09: Dalton made some comment about two people making out. I asked him if he knew what making out meant. He said, "isn't it just kissing a lot?" I said, "well, yes but you can't do that till you're like 45!" Dalton said, "45! My dad's not even 45...you mean dad hasn't made out?!?"

5-11-09: Hudson was having a coughing fit and Dalton says, "Hudson, you've gotta lay off the hot sauce!"

5-4-09: Dalton said, "Mom, I know that no one likes a back seat driver...but the speed limit is 40!"

1-20-09: Dalton said, "I don't know why but Mikaela wears bras! Not to be rude but...she's only 12!"

1-17-09: The kids were eating lunch and Dalton was the last one to finish. We were in a hurry so I said, "Dalton, hurry up. We need to go. Eat faster." He replied, "I'm enjoying my food...that's what I do!"

12-20-08: We went to Hudson's basketball game and when we got to the car he was goofing off and I said "get in...hurry...I'm freezing! And, you should be cold too since you're in shorts!" Hudson replies, "I can handle it cause I'm a man and you're not!"

12-18-08: We went to Ari's first dance recital. She used Mikaela's curly hairpiece to fit over her bun and give her a ponytail of curls. So, cute. Afterwards we took pictures and Cham says to Dalton "you didn't have your picture taken with Ari. She is the star tonight, you know?" Dalton says, "well I don't know about that, but she has the biggest hair!"

12-8-08: We have one humidifier that we are all trying to share right now. I had it in Mikaela's room and was planning to move it to the boys room when I went to bed that night. I didn't move it and in the morning Hudson came in my room and said, "mom, you forgot to put the fumigator in our room!" Fumigator is right! Two boys in one room. Maybe he's onto something...

12-5-08: Everyone was getting haircuts and it was Dalton's turn. He's talking to the lady and she's laughing at him. She says, "you're cute!" He says, "yep!" She later says, "you're funny!" He says, "yep!" Then she says, "How old are you?" He says, "six!" She says, "Are you sure you're not 16?" He replies, "nope...not even six and a half!" She replies, "you're just so well-spoken."

11-30-08: Dalton needed to go to the bathroom and we were at a public place so I made him go in the womens bathroom with me. (I worry about him going into a public bathroom alone and without Hudson!) So, we head in and Dalton says "mom, when it's just you and me and we go to the girls' bathroom...it's kinda embarassing!" Poor kid...what to do?

11-13-08: Dalton was eating Total cereal and he said "this cereal doesn't have any taste. It's kinda boring to eat."

Dalton came out of the bathroom and told Summer..."I wouldn't go in there for like 2 days!"

Hudson and I were making ziploc omelets which he learned how to do in scouts. It was taking a while and D-rock jokingly says "eggs take 10 years to cook." Hudson jokingly responds "no they don't because I've had eggs and I'm nine." He's such a smart alec but he put D-rock in his place.

I had reminded Dalton that this was his last day of kindegarten and he would never be a kindegartner again. I went to pick him up from school and he comes out saying "mom, it's my last day of kindegarten and I still can't read!" I guess he assumed it would all pop into his head suddenly on the last day!

We were at the pool and Dalton said something about needing to do something for our aunt Alicia. Mikaela said "Dalton, you know she's not our real aunt, don't you?" Dalton exclaimed "Why didn't anyone tell me that my whole life!"

Mikaela was telling about a situation with a "mean girl" at school and she was going on and on about the nastiness of it all and Hudson said "too bad you're not a boy, Mikaela, we don't have that stuff!" How true!

Summer asked Dalton to stop growing up and he said "Not gonna happen!" Then, she later said it again and he replied "I can't, it's impossible!"

We were trying to find something for Dalton to take to "show and tell" and he was turning everything down. Finally he says "show and tell is just disappointing." So, we quit and he went to school without anything.

Dalton was telling us that he thought this girl in his class named Kylee was cute. Later that evening, as we were eating dinner, someone said to Dalton "Dalton, you're cute!" Then he replies "so's Kylee."

Dalton made a craft project. He said, "I can't wait for Hudson to come home, he'll just criticize it." Looks like I need to educate Hudsy bear so he's not so critical. He comes by it genetically, this won't be easy.

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Just me and my 'Ohana

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Too many freaks...not enough circuses!

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