Just me and my 'Ohana

Essay Winner!!!

2011-11-21T23:52:00.002-07:00

Ok...so I realize that I have NOT blogged in FOREVER!!! I've been way busy!! I'm now working fulltime downtown and the commute is less than desirable but at least I have a job and benefits. I didn't know that I would so desperately need them but the Lord knew what was going to happen and knew that these were blessings we needed right now. They haven't been easy. Working is no easy task and working and being a single mom doing it all alone is an even more difficult task. I have help from family, but asking for help is often hard. You start to feel as if you are now burdening others when it was your choice to do this alone. Anyway...enough of that for now. I was reminded of an essay that I wrote on a friend's blog two years ago. It was for a contest and you had to write about what inspires you in any areas of your life. I actually won first place! Now, granted only two of us entered and a bunch of the others didn't dare because they didn't think their stuff was interesting enough, but still...I won some cool prizes! So, here is my essay:

I used to be the girl that had no self esteem. I was the girl that literally thought she was worthless and figured everyone else thought so too. I felt so hopeless and I pushed away many beneficial opportunities in my life simply because of fear and self loathing. I let it control my life. Unfortunately, girls with no self esteem sometimes end up in very bad situations. I realize that I was young, naive and made one very costly decision. I didn’t do things to hurt myself on purpose, but I did things that put everyone else first. I married young, worked hard to get some schooling in and worked even harder to get my husband on through to medical school. My husband’s education became the priority above mine. It was a very typical situation, but in my case, proved a bad investment! During medical school and residency, I did odd jobs to help us get through and I stayed home with my children. My husband was gone all day and all evening. He would leave in the morning and come home for one hour to go on a run and then back to school till it closed at midnight. I used to complain that I always had the baby to take care and never had time to exercise. He made sure to always get his run in, even at the expense of spending time with us. I had never resented it before, but it was at that time I resented his running and the fact that he could still do something for himself. We sacrificed a lot during those years in hopes for a brighter future. And, somehow, through all those years, I became lost. I realized later that my life was on hold. For six years, we had to fulfill his dream. At the time, I was prepared for that, but I now know that things didn’t work out as planned. (If only I had a crystal ball on that one!) I fell into the typical role that women fall into. I was no longer me...but everyone else’s “someone”. I was a mother, a wife, a primary secretary, a student’s spouse,
a daughter, a sister, a friend. I was nothing and did nothing for myself. I put everyone else ahead of myself. I now realize that this is so typical of women and mothers. So many of us do this to ourselves. And, I understand why. After many years of living like this, I finally realized that what I was doing was not working for me or for any of us. It didn’t happen in a profound or sudden way, but when it finally happened, it was a huge “A-ha” moment. About nine years ago, I knew things weren’t right with my life and my marriage. I blamed residency, moving, stress, hormones, anything I could think of to explain things. I tried to fix myself and I reached out to many people for help, but nothing changed. I made it through a few more years and things became horribly worse during my marriage. I was one of those girls who took on way too much, never said “no” and stressed a lot. I suffered from chronic tension headaches, but I never
had any serious health problems. For that, I felt grateful. But, I also took it for granted. One day, I literally woke up in extreme pain. I knew something was wrong. After enduring the symptoms for months, I went to a doctor and received an answer to those symptoms. I knew at that moment that my life was making me sick! My life...the way I was living...was possibly going to kill me! That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Life is about living and doing everything possible to stay alive. Not living your life in a way that shortens it. So, I made some quick decisions regarding my lifestyle and diet. I started eating better and started exercising. I started reading self-help books and attended therapy. To the doctor and nurses surprise, the symptoms went away and they went away quickly. But, I still had a disease that could turn into something worse and I had to be careful. I counted it both a blessing and a wake-up call. My life got better in some ways, but other things wouldn’t change. As I became more healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, I realized how terribly toxic my life actually was. I also realized that my children needed a strong and healthy mother to help them through this life. I was headed down a path that could not accomplish that. In time and after much effort and tears, I ended my 16 year marriage. It was awful and horrible and somehow completely necessary. I walked away from all our dreams and hard work. I had many family members and friends who supported me through everything and I couldn’t have done it without them. One of my best friends was a huge support and helped me realize that I needed to take care of me and then I could take care of everyone else. (You know the old oxygen on the airplane concept? You put your oxygen on first and then you put the child’s oxygen on.) She helped me exercise, run, eat better and be a better mother.
She was a rock for me and someone I depended on emotionally as well. She let me talk, she listened and she gave great advice. She helped me get to a place where I could be a better person. And then about four months ago, out of the blue, she betrayed me. I was crushed and shocked and didn’t know what to do. I was always one of those people that didn’t have a lot of drive to exercise. I would do a little here and a little there but, I just couldn’t make myself do it on my own. I lost a huge part of my cheering section that day with regard to exercise and parenting. I felt lost and unsure of what would happen to me. But, I realized that this was a test for me. A test as to why I was exercising and who I was doing it for. I could have easily stopped exercising, because I no longer had a partner pushing me or depending on me to do it. I was tempted to quit and sometimes I still am. But, I remember that I am doing this for ME and for my children. I am fighting my own body’s will to provide me with a disease. I am fighting to stay alive and fighting to be a mother to my children. I am fighting to be a better person. Exercise helps me with that fight. It helps me physically and mentally. It keeps me healthy and happy. I worked hard on myself mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically and became the person I was always meant to be. It wasn’t easy and I wish that I could have started life this way. Life would have been different for me and my children. If I had started out feeling better about myself and realizing how great I really am and the potential I had, I could have created a better life for us. But, for some reason, I had to learn the hard way. I had to go through hell and back to recognize the person I am. I am the healthiest I have been in a very long time. I feel great and love who I am! I am trying to teach my children while they are young to take care of
themselves. To eat right, exercise, laugh, play and be strong. Life has been tough for them, but they are learning to come through it with strength and pride. It’s not the path I would have chosen for any of us, but I love where my life is going now! Even though I am an unemployed single mom of three beautiful children. We live with family and have no home of our own. We drive an old beat up car and we struggle at times. But...we are all healthy, happy and we love each other and THAT is what really matters! I am not a proponent of divorce, but I know that we need to be healthy and happy as women and mothers. We need to do what it takes to get there. We need to work hard and try everything possible before we take a plunge into the throws of divorce. Single parenting is not easy and there are consequences. Oftentimes, when we repair ourselves, our lives and marriages are also repaired. But, if anyone feels the hopelessness and worthlessness that I felt, I say to you this...YOU are worth something. YOU can change your life. YOU can be happy. YOU can be the person you have always wanted to be. YOU have to do the work to change your life, but once you do, you will never want to go back. If I can do it, ANYONE can!

Jar of Hearts

2010-07-11T10:39:00.005-06:00

One thing that happens when you get divorced....a lot of people come out of the woodwork to confide in you and ask you questions. I know...cuz I wanted to do that too. I didn't have a ton of people who had been through it there to help me but I wanted it so desperately. So, I have always tried to be that person, if I could. I did have my family and few close friends and I appreciate their being there for me so much. I have tried to be a supportive friend for each of these people in my life. Encouraging them to make sure they do what they KNOW is best for their families. I have never encouraged divorce or being single because the reality of it is....it SUCKS!!! But, in some cases (and only the person living in that case can really KNOW) it is the only choice!

But through all of this, I have SO many friends (mostly girls) who's ex husbands are "trying" to get them back by way of lies and manipulation. They are stringing them along and toying with their hearts and collecting their own "jar of hearts" but in the process, they are damaging these poor people! And, I have many friends who have attempted to reconcile with someone who used lies and manipulation only to find out that NOTHING has changed. And, they get to go through the breakup all over AGAIN! And, some of them even come out with another child to go along with their broken hearts in some cases tying them together FOREVER!

It's sad that being alone can be so painful that we would actually even CONSIDER going back to the ex that broke us in the first place! But, so many of us do....because like I said...being single and alone sucks! But, the lesson we all need to learn is that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than be together for the wrong! It breaks my heart to hear these girls crying because of their ex's antics. I have felt their pain...and I have cried along with them. So, I'm dedicating this song to those girls or guys in my life that need that extra ability to see through the lies and the strength to do what is BEST for YOU and your CHILDREN!!! Make sure you read through the amazing lyrics! And a big thank you to my cute friend Val for posting this on her blog! I encourage you all to pray to know what is true, pray for strength to do what you need to do, pray for help to get over them, work on yourself through therapy and self help books and promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb you! Love ya!

Jar of Hearts

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

Single Moms Together Strong

2010-06-09T09:42:00.010-06:00

"I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." - Benjamin Button

I am a part of a single moms group through Facebook. I feel like I've met wonderful single moms throughout my entire experience in being divorced. I truly feel the Lord has placed people into my life when I needed them most! It's strange how things have fallen into place. It's been a completely AMAZING experience for me! Our single mom group leader has a blog for struggling single moms. It has helped me on many occasions when it's 2 am and I can't sleep and I'm alone with my thoughts and I just feel like I CAN NOT take one more thing. I read her words and I feel inspired and less alone in this journey. I have recommended it to many of my struggling friends going through divorce and it has helped them as well.

The other day I was looking back at some of the posts on her blog and found one of my comments. I remember feeling so passionate about what I was writing that I decided to transfer it over to my own blog post. Maybe some of you can have a glimpse into the lives and struggles of a single mom. Keep in mind that this response was a comment to a post about living a life you are proud of (even if it includes leaving an unhealthy marriage) and another woman had commented on the blog bashing the author by accusing her of blaming her ex for everything. Basically, she was tearing the woman down for being so open in her blog. So, in defense of both my friend (the author) and my own strong feelings about being a struggling single mom, I responded with this:

"I think more than striking a nerve, we just want everyone to understand how terribly painful this really is and that it takes everything we have to heal, get up, move on and try to create a new normal for ourselves and our children.

I haven't seen Benjamin Button yet, but I loved your post. I didn't find it bashing or negative for that matter. I'm pretty sure that most of us divorced women can see where we have gone wrong in our relationships and have worked hard not to repeat the past. Whether it's 50/50 or 7/93. The fact is that it takes TWO to make a marriage work, but it can only take ONE to make it fail. There are deal breakers in marriage and there are steps you go through to try and fix those deal breakers, but IF one party is not willing to do what needs to be done to make it work, it will not work. And oftentimes, it's not just one deal breaker. Sometimes you get to endure a few of them mixed together!!!

One thing I have learned so far about being a divorced single mom or single woman for that matter is this...people judge us and they judge us harshly. Not all, but some. I haven't figured out the "why" behind it, but they do. A lot of the time the judging is done by married women who seem to have a decent and fairly simple relationship. These women usually have no clue what a true toxic relationship is like. They don't see the excruciating pain that we go through in private or the flow of tears we constantly hold back while in public. We all should win academy awards because we hide it VERY well!

I loved the part in your comment where you state that "unless you were hiding under our bed the whole time you wouldn't have the first clue about the "truth" of what I really experienced". My dad always tells people when they ask about me that they would have to have lived it to truly understand. I wish more people could trust us and our decisions and realize that this is not a decision that most of us took lightly. Most of us endured much pain and agony to get to this point. Most of us hoped so much that it would work that we stayed too long. I think that many people assume we made this decision because we simply want out. We weren't in love anymore, we want another man or we are complaining about little annoying things like the toilet seat being left up. They have no clue what really happens behind closed doors and if they did I am almost certain that they would not judge!

A couple months ago, I went through something that was awful and terrible with regard to being judged by a woman who seems to have everything going well for her. (I realize that everyone has problems but, in this case, I would consider switching places with her. Basically, I would trade her for her problems, even her worst problems! I'm not kidding!) She was one of my good friends and I knew her better than most of her own family, but she turned on me. It's one thing when a stranger judges you or an annoying neighbor thinks she knows you better than you know yourself. You just expect that kinda thing. But, you don't expect it from a good friend. I think a lot of us women are victims of circumstance. Because we can be single, fit and pretty, we MUST have a motive. Women think we are after their husbands, they think we have no morals and they truly believe that because we are single, we don't respect marriage. What they don't realize is that we probably respect it more than they do. I have watched so many married women trash their husbands who are working hard, allowing them to stay home with the children, providing for them with a house and a running car and sometimes even spoiling them. They just go on and on about the little things. I sometimes wonder if they ever stopped to think what it would really be like if it all disappeared? What would it be like to live in a run down home with no AC, drive a car that oftentimes doesn't want to start, and sometimes struggle to provide food and clothing? What would it be like to do EVERYTHING yourself? But, you can never understand it until you are placed in that situation. You just can't!

I love having as much support as I can get during all of this. Women come to us because we have been through it. When I was first going through this, I had no one that had been there before. I longed for that and then my "angels" were put in my path when I needed them. There is a difference between bashing and relating our stories. Our stories are what makes us empathetic and we have to tell some of that story in order to help others. It's what helps us know we are not alone. There is nothing wrong with telling the truth. Most of the time we mask the ugliest parts anyway just to protect our children. Believe me, if I could, I would blog about all the crap we had to go through. But, I can't and because of that...people judge us.

I blogged about my experience with this and I posted a song that touched my heart. I dedicated it to my fellow friends who have had to endure any sort of painful situations. Here is my post: http://mommyriss.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-is-to-all-my-friends.html

You don't have to read the post, but if you like click on the song and read the words. It's appropriate for divorce, death, or any life hardship that you may be asked to endure.

Maybe none of you have experienced this, but this has been my experience so far. It's just my two cents! Well, it's a little more than two cents! Sorry for the long comment! Love you girl!"

Triathlon...check!

2010-06-04T11:01:00.031-06:00

So, the triathlon is done...over...in less than two hours. I spent many hours training and worrying over this and it was over...just like that! I had hoped to come in under 2 hours and I made it in 1 hour and 38 minutes...1:38:46:4 to be exact!

The night before was SO stressful with the unpredictability of the weather and the fact that I was SO nervous, not to mention that I was having a hard time focusing because my love life was a mess! Hello...guys have the worst timing! The weather that night was terrible and the forecast for race day was also terrible. There was the remote chance that they could cancel the race altogether which both disappointed me and relieved me all at once!

Diane and I headed to the race that morning with our bikes in tow. It was cold and wet and yucky out and I feared freezing the entire race. I wore my flip flops to keep my running shoes from getting wet, but that was a huge mistake because my toes were frozen for half the race! When we got there and started setting up our station, they announced that they were canceling the swim and we would run a mile before the bike and then run again. I felt relief and a little let down, but realized that because of this new change, we ALL were starting the race at 8 am rather than taking turns with swimming. With the swim we had planned on starting around 9 am. So, I quickly sent a text to my sisters about the time change and got ready! During most of the race I felt pretty good. There are two hills that you have to bike twice and run once. The second time around on the bike, I was pretty beat and then when I had to get off the bike and start running, I thought I would die. I was not fully prepared for the wobbly legs that would follow. But, I realized that ALL the ladies with me at that time felt the same way. We had to walk so much of the two hills. And, when we would run, it felt like we weren't even moving...like we were turtles in slow motion. It was a strange and completely annoying feeling.

I like to brag that my biggest accomplishment was that I only spent 60 seconds on my second transition. Most people in my age bracket spent 2-3 minutes in transition. Only a handful of others were 60 seconds or less including the girls that placed 1st and 2nd! Ya...made me a little proud! Now, if only I could shave off about 10 minutes off my 5k and 15 minutes off my bike!

But...I finished and Diane finished and we both felt awesome for finishing as that had been our main goal! I think we both feel a little ripped off having only done a duathlon now, but we tried. And, now we just have to TRI again for next year's Women of Steel! So who's in?!?

I had a huge support system during the race and at the finish line! It was so exciting to see them cheering for me as I made my second bike loop and then again as I started my 5k. I really appreciated everyone for showing up and supporting me! I've never had anyone show up to a race of mine and I have to admit...I was feelin' the love! :)

Here are the pictures from the race. These are all on Facebook so if you're my friend, you've probably already seen them. But, if not...here ya go!

My fellow Rec Center peeps! - These girls are the reason I attempted this Tri!

I bought this tri suit especially for this race. Everyone knows that they mark you up for a tri, but it was so cold you didn't see my suit nor my numbers! Bummer!

My lucky race number!

Me, Alicia and Diane

Me and Melanie

Heather and Jason

Waiting

Almost finished!

Finished

Me and my kiddos!

My support

Yay!

Posters made by my nieces!

I did it!

I'm up...

2010-06-02T11:54:00.002-06:00

and I think I'm ready to take on blogging again...and life!

After the 5 months anticipation and release of all the physical and emotional exhaustion built up with the triathlon, my first post-divorce break up, a girls' trip to LA, a new calling, soccer team changes, end of school year stuff, room mom duties as well as the many other changes happening in our lives...I think I'm officially back! (It just hit all at once and those who know me, know I don't deal well with too many changes at one time. But I had an awesome therapy session yesterday and I am ready!)

I haven't felt like posting for a while now. And sometimes, I didn't even feel like getting out of bed. But I really want to...I promise...I do!

So watch for the pics to come soon from the girls' trip and triathlon...

cuz they're gonna knock your socks off!

Hudson's Birthday!!!

2010-05-24T11:00:00.017-06:00

This kid turned 11 this month

(Suzanne's wedding February, 2010)

Make a wish

Blow it out!

Hudson and Kaden

Clint and Dalton

Pizza time!

Dalton and Clint and all their tickets!

Happy Birthday Hudson!

He was off track on his actual birthday...so we headed to breakfast at Denny's so he could get cash in on his free grand slam! I tried to encourage something else, but this kid knew what he wanted and let's face it, it was HIS day! After Denny's we had planned on bowling, but we were too full, so we ran a couple errands and then headed to pick out some presents. He picked a few and we surprised him with a few. Then, we headed home and had planned on going bowling with Mikaela once she got out of school. But, by that time, Hudson was playing with his friend and wanted to skip bowling altogether. Then, he had a scout party and soccer practice and the evening/dinner with his dad! It was a great day! At least that's what he told me!

On the Friday after his birthday, he decided he wanted to take his friend Kaden and Dalton and Dalton's friend Clint to Nicklemania. Where we spent all the nickels we could until it was way past time to go! What a great way to end being off track!!!

Happy Birthday to one of the most AMAZING sons a mom could ask for...

I love you Hudson

Finish Strong!!!

2010-05-17T03:32:00.003-06:00

I heard this quote the other day by one of my cycling class buddies, Lacey, who did a

little Tri transition clinic for those of us doing tri's this year.

It's the Danskin Tri motto:

"The woman who starts the race is not the same woman who finishes the race!"

I loved it! I also hope, with all my heart, that it ends up being true for me. I am new to any sort of intense racing. I've done a bunch of 5k races, but that is it! I haven't dared attempt anything more, for fear of failure! So that was part of my decision in attempting a sprint triathlon.
I need this...I need something...to help me make some changes.

I discovered a few years ago in therapy that I am my own worst enemy. (I know we all are, but she said I do it more than the normal person.) All my life I have belittled myself and allowed negative self talk to defeat me. I tore myself down before others had a chance to do it. And, when others did do it, I agreed with them. I kept a journal from ages 12-21 and throughout the journal are the rantings of a self-deprecating scared little girl.

We've never been able to figure out why I did/do it and while the therapist was optimistic, she also said that realistically this would be a very difficult thing for me to overcome having done it my entire life! I try not to do it now and just being aware of it is helpful, but it is a daily work in progress for me. So, by attempting this triathlon, I am fighting with the urge to give up. I am fighting my own negative thoughts that I can't do it. That I haven't trained hard enough or the correct way. I am fighting my own thoughts that I don't deserve to accomplish this!

It's a hard challenge to overcome because I am so easily discouraged. I recognized that I've been so fortunate to avoid a serious injury so far. I've only had to deal with foot and leg cramps while swimming, foot pain and colitis symptoms while cycling, the usual shin splints and knee pain while running, dizziness and my screwed up body temperature. At this point in time, I am fighting a pulled groin muscle. Oh and let's not forget...the constant need to urinate! Most days, I can't make it through an hour run or spin class without having to stop and go to the bathroom. Even if I go right before class...and I hate having to hop off a bike just to pee! So...annoying! I know everyone has injuries and other things to deal with, but I tend to let them completely discourage me.

I get that it's dumb and I hate that I do it.

The last few weeks have been difficult mentally and I haven't been able to snap out of it, but the other day was also hard for me physically. My colitis symptoms were back and they like to hit me during spin class. I'm not sure why or what triggers it, but it does and it hurts and it's hard. Randi, my cycling instructor asked me if I was gonna throw up. I can't explain the feeling but it's not nausea, it's just pain. But, I was determined with everything I have to NOT get off the bike before class was over. So, this time I literally had to talk myself through each and every second of the last 25 minutes of class. It doesn't sound long, but when you are in pain, it so...so is! And, I did it! I was so happy to have done it, but so discouraged to have to deal with colitis again. So, I came home feeling discouraged. But, I got onto facebook and found this video posted on my friend's facebook wall. I watched it and sobbed and sobbed and then found the inspiration I needed to continue training. So, here I am a week before my first sprint triathlon. I'm scared...I'm in pain...I'm mentally a mess...but I am also excited...and full of anticipation...and amazed that I have hung in there...and I plan to finish....I plan to FINISH STRONG!!!

Barcelona Sprinter & His Father from Adam Wills on Vimeo.

So to pump me up and get me excited...I've decided to put an "inspirational quote a day" on my facebook status everyday leading up to the race. Here is my fav that I plan to post the day before my race:

"It is a comforting moment when we suddenly realize that our commitment to race, to participate in something so important to us-our dream-will be actualized. We have made it to the starting line. In this moment, the probability that we will do the event reaches 100 percent. The hundreds of things that can go wrong leading up to a [triathlon], have been cleverly averted, and the thousands of things required to get to the start are all now officially history." - Mitch Thrower

Suzanne and Nick's Big Fat Greek Wedding

2010-03-31T15:32:00.007-06:00

My super cute sister Suzanne got married to her handsomely husband Nick (there...threw the bone) on February 27th!

It was a great day and we had a ton of fun!

Congrats to Suzanne and Nick

So...Nick and Macie...welcome to the family!

Are you ready for us? We're totally awesome actually...a little crazy....but awesome!

It was easier to post this video of the wedding pics that my friend made for me than it was to try and upload them all onto blogger! And, since I've been the slackiest blogger in pretty much the whole world...you're just lucky to have this! Enjoy...because it's awesome!

Photography

2009-12-05T21:58:00.004-07:00

Those that know me, know that I love photography. I always have. My uncle gave me my first camera when I was 8 years old. As I was growing up, I would always have a camera with me. I took photography in high school and learned to develop and print my own film. Little did I know that I wouldn't ever need those mad skillz because of the digital age. Anyway, I never pursued that hobby, despite my love for photography. But, I love wasting time on the internets looking at photography. Because of this, I stumbled upon a photographer that is professional, classic and timeless. Her name is Nichole Hill Gerulat and I love her blog and her work and even decided to take a class from her last month. It was a crash course which was all day long and totally fun but, not nearly enough time and too much information for my tiny brain to handle. So, I hope to take more of her classes when they go online or when she comes to Utah again. What I learned most from her is that I need to step back and take a look at what I'm photographing and decide the story I'm trying to tell. Is it true? Is it true to who I am and what I want to represent? Is it timeless? She gave me a lot of food for thought. So, even though I like a lot of the trendy stuff that is being done nowadays, I really need to find what defines me and be true to who I am and make sure it's not just a passing fad.

Whatever the hell that means!!!!

Just kidding :)

*Pic of me with my first camera (circa 1979-ish)

Too many freaks...not enough circuses!

2009-11-07T22:27:00.006-07:00

Ok...dating sucks! There are just a bunch of freaks out there. There are SOME good ones but MOST of them are big fat liars and are just not who they say they are! And, I'm just getting started in this arena. I finally decided to join the ranks of online daters. I had three friends that had a lot of luck with online dating, so I decided to give it a try. Huge mistake! Or, maybe the mistake lies in the site I used. I dunno...but either way, it still stinks. You get all sorts out there. The guys who aren't divorced yet, the guys who can't spell or use proper grammar (the "we was-ers"), or the cussers, the LDS social drinkers, the psychos or just plain 'ole creepos.

So, here's what happened in just a few short weeks:

I have a bunch of people who say they want to hook me up, but nothing seems to come from that. I have a couple guys I already know that SAY they want to go out but, when you actually tell them you are willing...they don't ASK. What's up with that? I know, I know....he's just not that into you! I watch the movie once a month to avoid becoming THAT girl.

Then, there's the guys that you're not totally interested in, but you're willing to give it a try in case you have a little chemistry upon meeting that seems to be lacking on the internet. Then, you meet or talk on the phone and BAM...nothing...no chemistry whatsoever on your end. But, they are feeling it BIG TIME on their end. So, what now? It's time to kick 'em to the curb and that is oh.so.not.fun!

I had one guy tell me I had Barbie feet with amazing arches! CrEePy!!!

Within one week I had these two experiences:

1. Guy emails me. He's cute enough, educated, employed, writes well, LDS, not a social drinker, etc. So, the next day, I decide to respond to his email. I look at his profile picture and the dude has changed all his pictures to pictures of some chick! Then, he's changed all his "about me" crap to stuff like this: "Oh Camille, I love you so much. I can't believe I let you go. I can't believe I waited too long and forced you to leave me before I could realize how much I truly love you. I've met the woman I want to spend my life with and I need help finding her." And on and on and on. Can you believe this dirt bag? Emailing girls the night before he obsessively changes his profile. And, just a little FYI...this hasn't happened to any of my other friends before. It's apparently some freak thing I get to experience. Yay me!

2. Guy emails me. Guy looks oddly familiar. Now, I should say that I am really good with names and usually faces too. This guy tells me his first name and he lives around my neck of the woods. He's younger, so I don't know him personally but I realize who he is. A long time ago, I saw this guy who was a friend of a friend on facebook. I was looking through his pictures and he was a big show off. Pictures of his big house, boat, ATVs, motorcycles, motorhome, etc. Huge bragger! The reason I was looking at him is because I recognized his name from a business transaction that took place years ago. The dude refused to pay his bill and I kept trying and trying to contact him until I finally sent him to collections. So, the guy is a huge credit bandit! He keeps emailing me and has no clue that I know he is a big fat loser! Yuck!

So, what this made me realize is, that I know absolutely nothing about these guys. They are all big fat liars and fakes. And, what if I had gotten involved with either of them before I found out what freaks they were?

I know all of my professional dater friends are laughing at me and saying I told you so...but come on. Seriously?!? Is this what it's really like out there...or do I have issues? I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. I think I'll just become crazy cat lady.

And why is it that cat woman is considered HAWT, but cat lady is just CRAZY?!? That's for another post.

First campout alone with the kiddos...

2009-08-24T11:20:00.009-06:00

Our tent!

Mikaela and Baby! Mistake taking a white dog camping?

Possibly...but it's not my dog or my mistake so...

and we made it out alive! Unfortunately, it rained some Friday and then dumped on us Saturday morning. So all we basically did was drive a while, pitch a tent, eat some yummy dutch oven dinner, roast s'mores, stay up really late, worry about the bears, sleep in a tent, eat breakfast in the cold rain by a campfire and pile everything in the car all wet and muddy and race home! Nick was so sweet because when he woke up to rain on Saturday back in town, he knew we had to be getting pounded on while up the canyon. He told Suzanne to try and find us so he could help me load everything up. I didn't have service up there so I didn't find all this out until I was almost home. But, it was still so sweet that he worried about us. So, I got a text from him that said he wanted to help me break down camp and then one that told me Patrick Swayze died. That guy is all kinds of helpful.

I joined a single moms group on facebook and met some new friends through that group. This was an annual camping trip that they planned and it was so great. They usually do a lot of fun things like ATV's, dirt bikes, air-soft guns, hiking, fishing, etc. We didn't get the chance to do any of that, but it was still fun. It was fun to be alone but, not completely. To do something you didn't think you would or could do. It was something I needed to do. It was a step I needed to take. I'm happy I can now cross that off my bucket list.

We'll try for a better trip next year.

One without rain, mud and bears...please

Happy Birthday Dalton!

2009-08-11T14:30:00.008-06:00

It was Dalton's 7th birthday during our family reunion. He had been literally counting down the days for the last month. Every day without fail, he knew how many more days till his birthday. He also knew one of the presents he was getting. Suzanne took him shopping and let him pick out his own gift. It was a power miners lego set and it was a huge one! He was like a kid on Christmas day...except he was a kid on his birthday, which is pretty much the same thing. Anyhoo, I finally let him open some presents on Sunday because that was the day that everyone is usually there. Plus, the kid couldn't wait any longer and he was bugging A LOT.

Instead of a party Dalton just wanted to go to Sweet Tomatoes with his friend Clint. Totally works for me. He's a pretty easy kid. Love that boy. So, Dalton, Hudson, Clint, Clint's mom Diane and myself headed to Sweet Tomatoes to celebrate Dalton's birthday. There's only one tiny little problem with this.....ready for it? It's a good one...yep... Mother of the Year award here! We did the lunch when the boys were off-track in.....OCTOBER! Yep, three whole months AFTER his big day. Poor kid with the summertime birthday. No real celebration at school, no going down to the Principal's office for a special pencil, always having a birthday over our family reunion, then having the day get lost amongst the 24th of July and vacations, and on and on and on. Ya...I totally blew it. But, he didn't mind so much. Like I said, he's an easy going kid. Gotta love him!

Here's a picture of the boys at the belated birthday lunch:

So, Happy Birthday to my baby...sniff, sniff.

Here's last year's post and pictures.

Family Reunion

2009-07-19T11:05:00.015-06:00

Our annual family reunion was held July 18-21. We camped around grandma Rose's house, had a potluck dinner at the bowery, went swimming in Malad, ladies night out, and boating at Deep Creek. We also celebrated Dalton's 7th birthday there. He was so anxious to open his presents, that I let him open them on Sunday and we had a cake for him at the potluck dinner since that is when most people are at the reunion. It was a cute little sponge bob cake that he picked out. Here are some photos of the reunion:

Mikaela and Ben

Froggy

Mom and gram going for a ride!

Summer

D-rock

Britt and Bree

Dalton sat here on the dock for 45 minutes waiting for another boat ride!

That is one patient kid.

Grandma throwing gang signs!

Dalton waiting for a boat ride...

Mikaela and me about to go tubing

Cody and Mikaela

The lane where Grandma and Grandpa met!

Fourth of July!!!

2009-07-06T11:05:00.018-06:00

The 4th of July was spent running the family fun run again. Mikaela just came along and took photos for us. I encouraged Paige to run the 10k and she encouraged Marcus to also run it. Paige had been training for Ragnar but Marcus hadn't run in like a month. But, they both did awesome! I ran the fun run with Dalton and Hudson raced the fun run to win. He ended up getting 7th place overall and 1st place for his age group! Yay Hudson! He was pretty excited. After the race, we went to the chuckwagon breakfast. Last year dad and Derrek joined us and I was hoping they would join us again but, I found out after we headed home, that dad, Derrek, Summer, Spew and Laura all met up to eat chuckwagon breakfast and we just missed em! Dang!

The day ended at Sugarhouse park for fireworks with the group. We had Nick and Suzanne, Spew and Laura, Summer and Jake, Derrek and Melissa, Mabel, Rex and Bella, and Alicia. It was a lot of fun and a great show. We thought it would be fun to head up there in case it was actually their last year doing fireworks (cuz that was the rumor). Here are some photos from the day:

Hudson finishing the race!

Dalton at the finish!

Me and my baby!

Me, Marcus and Paige

Summer and Jake

Spew and Laura

Laura and Me

The group

Hudson, Red-neck Nick, Mikaela

Bella, Suzanne, and Dalton

Mikaela's cake - so cute!

Rex, Bella, Mabel and Nick

Mikaela's cool hair

Happy 4th of July!!!

Happy Birthday Derrek!!!

2009-07-05T15:00:00.004-06:00

Happy Birthday Derrek!

Derrek found this ad on KSL that he thought was pretty funny. He and Summer were joking about it on facebook. Melissa, one of Derrek's friends, hired the ninja to entertain us for Derrek's birthday. Such an awesome idea! The ninja came and started to show us some of his mad skillz. Mikaela caught it on video. Check it out! You can also check out more pics on Hell is cold.

We had a super fun party/BBQ at Derrek's house. The whole ninja experience made it hilarious. After he fell, Derrek offered him a burger. He got it all ready and then realized he couldn't eat the burger without taking off his mask. So, he just made a plate and kept collecting food. He took a bunch of pictures with people. He was actually really weird. At one point, he asked who would like to kiss a ninja and Summer said she would. The rest of the night, he tried everything to get her to kiss him again and again and even said she could take off his mask. Derrek finally told him it was a good effort and sorta hinted that he could leave. As soon as I get the pictures, I will post some for you. It was one of the funnest parties I have been to in a long time. After he fell, we all laughed so hard. Dad was laughing hysterically. He even said it was the funniest thing he had seen in 67 freakin' years! Good times! Happy Birthday D-rock! Love ya.

Click here for last year's post.

See...it's already getting better...

2009-07-01T23:00:00.003-06:00

For a looksie at what I did last Saturday go here. My kids were on vacation and I had 3 days alone. I wanted to take a little trip somewhere to get away but one friend got really sick and the other two had to work and...well...I have no other friends. I had a sleep over with Paige and Suzanne on Thursday to Friday and then Suzanne and I went with Nick, Macey, Laney, Rex, Mabel and baby Bella to Cheesecake Factory to say good bye to Laney who is moving to Vegas. After that, Suzanne and Nick had planned to go to Jackson for a river rafting trip. Nick wanted me to go and I was super tempted, but just felt like it wasn't the vacay I really wanted. I really wanted to lounge by a pool and read and just relax and try not to think too much. I didn't feel like camping and sleeping in a tent. I'm usually a good camper just not that day. So, I passed on the invite. They took off and ran to Walmart where they encountered the Swat standoff that took place in the apartments right behind Walmart. The one where an older man was shooting and so they shot him. Maybe that shoulda been their first clue. Then, they ended up having a crazy trip on the river Saturday. More on that later. Saturday during the day I spent a few hours with 11 little kiddos swimming at the pool to celebrate Loren's birthday. Cham needed some extra lifeguards and also a photographer. Later that night, I ended up going with Derrek, Spew and Laura to Taylorsville Dayzz to hear pseudo Neil Diamond and watch some spectacular fireworks! It wasn't the weekend I had hoped for, but it worked just as well.

I'm up and at it...I think!

2009-07-01T21:53:00.004-06:00

Warning:

I'm gonna be a downer for a minute...

I've been MIA for a little bit. Not sure why. I think it's a combination of things. A little Influenza A or maybe piggy flu with the boys. (A fourth grader at the school came down with Swine flu). Or maybe busy with the end of school stuff. I don't know.

I've been sad too.

Life is overwhelming at times. Everything seems to happen at once. I keep hearing of people I know getting sick and having real troubles. It makes me sad. It seems like it's been a very long time since something wonderful has happened. I wonder when that will happen again? I wonder if it will ever happen again?

Today, for the first time, EVER...I believe...I actually admitted out loud that being a single mom is hard! I have always handled it and felt like it was really the least of my problems. I didn't feel like a good mom most of the time, but I felt like I did the single mom thing as well as I could. But...not today. The 11 year old car broke down AGAIN (with something that I had already paid to have fixed) so I ran it to the shop and after repairs and some money I drove off only to discover that my blinkers don't work at all! I now have a wiring problem in my steering column. I know it's not a big deal, but it's hard. You can really only do the hand signals for so long. KnowwhatImean?

So, ya...I cried.

It's hard to find a job in this economy. It's hard to find the right job that isn't going to totally take away from my kids. It's hard to balance everything. It's hard when money isn't there. It's hard to hear harsh words thrown at you constantly. It's hard to buy a house on your own. It's hard to stay strong. It's hard to have faith. It's hard to be positive. Oh...and it's hard to live in a hot house. (You know I couldn't go a summer without complaining about this one!)

No one understands how hard it is to be a single mom till they actually do it. It basically sucks.

Now, granted I'm not sick or dying. I haven't suffered anything hugely traumatic. I have a bright future ahead of me. Sometimes I forget that or sometimes I choose not to look at it that way. That's why I like to read Nie Nie. It brings me back to where I need to be.

So...for now I hope I'm done being a downer.

I'm ready to play this 4th of July weekend!!!

Rock on!!!

Mikaela's birthday photos

2009-06-11T23:02:00.002-06:00

Here are the photos from Mikaela's birthday celebration at Leatherby's and her family party at home and at James' pool.

Yummy Nothing Bundt Cake!

Happy Birthday Mikaela!!!

2009-06-11T23:01:00.007-06:00

Mikaela had her 13th birthday today!

She is officially a teenager!

This oughta be good!

She is a great kid. She is so smart, intuitive and sensitive. She can see things from so many different perspectives. She has to endure a lot of things and she is growing into a very strong person. She's basically gonna kick butt when she gets older!

The boys are still in school so Mikaela, Grandma, Mckell, Diane and myself went to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic" at the dollar theater. Then, Mikaela went with Mckell to her dance class because it was "bring a friend" day. After that we all (Hudson, Dalton, Mikaela, me, Grandma, Summer, Nick and Suzanne) went to Leatherby's for dinner and ice cream. We had a nice time even though Summer thought Leatherby's was a little ghetto. Mikaela chose it because they have awesome chicken fingers and their carmel is delish! Plus, it's her birthday! Summer took a few pictures so when she sends them to me, I will post them.

I hope you had an awesome day Mikaela. I love you tons and tons!

You are the best daughter anyone could ask for!!!

Click here for last year's post.

Priceless

2009-06-02T17:43:00.001-06:00

New pair of church pants = $14.00
Gum in new pair of church pants while wearing for the first time = Grrrr!
Ice cube and knife trick = Frustrating
Slightly hot vinegar, soak for 10 minutes & scrub with a toothbrush = Excellent
House smelling like Easter eggs on a hot summer day in June = Stinky...

But...oh so worth it!

Try it next time.

Super cool idea.

Thank you internets!

Win a session with Blue Lily...

2009-06-02T17:10:00.000-06:00

Click here to enter a giveaway. Blue Lily will be in Utah twice this summer and is giving away a "free supercool session." They will be in other states too. Check out the post and see if they will be in your neck of the woods.

Hug me a Goblin...or kiss me an Indian!

2009-05-30T16:22:00.000-06:00

Summer, Paige, Ben, Marcus and I went to Escalante last Friday to hike some 10 mile hike on Saturday and come home the same day! We stayed in a KOA cabin in Panguitch. It actually wasn't too bad. We ate breakfast in Panguitch where Ben, Paige and I shopped at a thrift store. Paige found some sister wife dresses for us and we took our picture with an Indian guy sitting outside of the store. Don't get excited...he wasn't real and when we took the picture, Paige was kissing the Indian and I wasn't. So the rest of the trip, my goal was to find another Indian and kiss him. (I have lofty goals) It didn't happen! It rained on Saturday so many of the hikes were washed out. We decided to bag the hike and just drove and drove and drove. We finally decided to head to Goblin valley and check it out since only one of us had ever been there. It was raining and seriously muddy, but oh so fun. The girls all had flip flops on and the guys had their hiking shoes. It didn't matter though...everyone slipped and everyone got muddy. We started down and Marcus offered me a piggy back all the way to where it was flat and a tiny bit safer. So nice...but quite possibly a bit more risky then doing it each on our own. We fell once, but we caught ourselves and only dirtied our feet and hands. Phew! Summer thought we were going to fall so she was just waiting to snap a picture. We ALL managed to make it out of there without falling too badly or getting very muddy. And I have to say, it was pretty awesome! Our goal was to hug a Goblin while there and we all pretty much got that chance. Summer was all over her Goblin! She can be so flirty with dirt! I don't have a picture of Paige and her Goblin but once I get her pictures I'll post 'em. I know there are a lot of pictures, but I like pictures and it's my blog. So, there ya go.

A small part of me wishes that there was a way we could have washed ourselves off so we could have had ourselves a killer mud fight. I knew we couldn't get all messy because Ben would never let us back in his truck. But, I have NEVER had a mud fight before and it would have been so fun. I don't think I even did that as a kid! I'm so boring. But not to worry, next time...I'm planning for a full on mud fight! I'm buying a camping shower.

Ben kept telling us that this was the best trip EVER! We just won't mention the semi-yucky breakfast at the dirty diner that lacked hot water, the uncomfortable and noisy beds at the KOA, someone that snored, or the fact that we were in the car more than we were out of the car. We'll just remember how funny everyone is and that there was tons of junk food, laughter and potty stops along the way! Hey...not bad for a last minute road trip?

These two shots were taken from inside the car through the window.
Not too shabby.

You can see the mud in this picture. It was so dirty.

Muddy feet

Yay! We're finally out of the car!

Wow! Something must be funny

Make it sit so I can get down...

Ben's goblin has curves in all the right places!

Goodbye...I'll miss you sweet goblin

Should we get these two a room?!?

This was all they had to clean our feet and hands

Sisters

Me likey the twix

Three little piggies
(and yes, we threw the yogurt raisins out the window afterwards)

Feeling the love...ahhh

Happy Birthday Dani!

2009-05-29T22:11:00.003-06:00

I'm posting this really late for Dani's birthday because I'm lazy like that. So, I hope she had a great day. I know that she and Marc celebrated both their birthdays with a big party and all their friends. She said that was a lot of fun. Here's to another year and I hope that many fun and exciting things are in store for you. Click here for last year's post.

Flashback Friday

2009-05-29T07:05:00.000-06:00

This Flashback is about my first REAL crush. I did have a boyfriend in Kindergarten, but all we did was stand on opposite sides of the fence at recess and take turns spanking each others' butts! Ya...I was slutty at age five.

I was about 10 years old and my crush was an older guy. The ripe old age of twelve...and...he passed the sacrament! So, I concocted a plan to make him notice me. I had to be assertive as I didn't have much to offer physically. After all, I was super skinny, (I would love this problem now...) wore wonder woman glasses and braces. Oh, and sometimes I wore my headgear!

I.was.HOT!

So, my plan was to go to church as usual, but be the first one in my family in the chapel. I would then rush to the front row...yep...FRONT ROW! (I wouldn't say I was good at being subtle.) I knew that he always passed the sacrament to the front row and I had been watching from afar and devised this plan weeks in advance. It was totally premeditated.

That oughta get his attention...and not at all obvious!

Sunday comes and we head to church. I rush in and plant us on the front row. I'm sure my mom wanted to kick my butt for doing this, but I don't remember her getting mad. I'm the oldest of six kids and the youngest was baby D-rock who was around a year old. I was holding him and bouncing him on my knee like a good big sister when it came time for the sacrament. This is it! I thought to myself. I was so excited. He was going to see me and then I would be in his mind all day!

It was the perfect plan to get my man.

Because we were on the front row, he walked along and passed it to all of us. (As opposed to us passing it down the row to the other end.) It was time for the water. I was on the end, so that meant I was the last one to get it on my row. He holds the tray in front of me so that I can partake, when all of a sudden...BAM!!! Baby D-rock's hands grab at the tray and the little cups of water spill all down both D-rock and myself.

I was so embarrassed! I thought I would die. It was awful!

I guess I didn't impress that guy because he never reciprocated any love or attention. That's ok, he was actually kinda weird. I have no idea what I really saw in him anyway. And that's how the rest of my attempts at attention from men continued throughout my life. They would pretty much always blow up in my face...

or...spill down my dress! :)

Psst...

2009-05-24T18:06:00.001-06:00

Hey, I added a few more songs to my playlist.

I'm spending a lot of time alone again lately. So, I'm back to listening to music and dancing away all my troubles.

I went to the Lenka concert and since then, I've been listening to her all the time. She wrote Don't Let Me Fall when she broke up with her boyfriend and she wrote Dangerous and Sweet when she and her best friend had a fight. The other two are just two of my favorites right now. If you haven't ever heard of her, she sings The Show. You've probably heard that song...it's always on the radio.

I don't have a boyfriend to break up with me, but I do have a friend that hates my guts...

Whatever...

So...give it a little listen

It's over there...on the right sidebar

Scroll down

Keep scrolling...

Flashback Friday

2009-05-15T09:02:00.001-06:00

I was at Costco last week and brushed past my friend Jennifer's old boyfriend from high school. He looked at me briefly like he recognized me and then quickly looked away. It took me a second to realize who he was. Had he not acted so strangely, I may not have even noticed or remembered! Anyway, that reminded me of a high school memory and I figured that I would make it my Flashback Friday.

During the end of my junior year and the beginning of my senior year in high school, my three friends Krista, Christie and Jen ALL got boyfriends from West Jordan High school. Not just boyfriends...but...boyfriends that were also ALL friends. As usual, I was the odd man out (or woman in this case). No one wanted to date me or make me their girlfriend. {sniff, sniff} No one except...Richard Simmons! Oh ya, that's right...Richard Simmons. This is a story about the time I went out with Richard Simmons.

Jen, her boyfriend Adam, myself and Richie Simmons (ya, that's what we called him) went to the Erasure concert at Wolf Mountain. (I'm totally dating myself here.) We were hanging out and having a good time dancing and singing when Richie starts putting the moves on me. They were ever-so subtle and fairly lame but, they were moves nonetheless. I was not attracted to Richie in "that way" and these moves were making it hard to enjoy Andy Bell in a tutu! (said "tutu" made all the guys sick -btw.) Jen could tell that his moves were buggin me so she tried to dance her way next to me and shoved him aside. It worked...he got the hint. After the concert, she hopped in the back seat with me so Richie had to sit in the front! What an awesome friend!

I was a little upset because I felt like Richie just assumed we were together even though he never actually asked me to the concert and he never paid for my ticket. He just expected a little action because of his curly hair and his name. Can you believe it?

I chased Richie away that day. As well as any chances of ever being "THE" Mrs. Richard Simmons. I didn't hang out with him too many more times after that and he certainly never tried anything again. It figures...my friends take the cute guys and I'm stuck with Richard Simmons.

Ok...you caught me...of course it wasn't "THE" Richard Simmons. But...his name was Richard Simmons and he did have curly hair, but he was much taller than the real "shorty-short wearing aerobics queen that we all know...and David Letterman hates".

So, really I didn't go "OUT" with Richard Simmons nor was it "THE" Richard Simmons but...it makes for a great story...don't ya think?

I do.

Happy Birthday Hudson!

2009-05-05T21:26:00.000-06:00

Hudson turned 10 today! I can't believe it! We celebrated his day by going to the Mayan for dinner in true Cinco de Mayo style. That kid can eat! No kids meals for him. He ordered the full size cheese enchiladas. I'm not sure I can afford him! He only opened two presents today and the rest he is saving for Sunday when we celebrate with the entire family. He got the HS Musical 3 CD and a Guitar Hero for his DS. He wanted strawberry shortcake for dessert instead of a cake. (I think he just wanted cream shots from the can!) We headed home after dinner and had our dessert. The pictures of his candle blowing are blurry and I don't know why. Sorry. Here is the link for last year's post.

That's what I'm talking about...

2009-05-04T21:37:00.001-06:00

Mikaela told me tonight that she is one of three students with the highest CRT testing scores in math out of all 8 of her teacher's classes! Yep...you read it right...HIGHEST and MATH!!!

Rock on!!!

Last year Mikaela was failing in math. We were struggling and didn't know how we were going to pull out of it. At the end of last year and after talking about it for soooo long, I FINALLY hired a tutor and she has been tutored once a week for over a year. It so paid off! I am so excited...She is so excited...Hudson even high fived her and told her "good job."

We are happy tonight!

Yay!

I have to say that I know I complain a lot about the fact that I have to live with my dad and I don't have my own home, but if it weren't for him allowing us to live here, we would never be able to have paid for a tutor for so long. I also wouldn't be able to stay home with my children as long as I have. So, a big thank you to my daddy for keeping us from being homeless and a big thank you to everyone in my life that has helped us get through it all!

Yipee!

Can you tell that I am happy? So, so happy!

{GASP}

2009-05-04T16:25:00.001-06:00

I was hanging out with Summer one night and she has two roommates. They are both younger than Summer. We were sitting around chatting and her roommate Dixie says that she was born in 1989. I just about died!!! I said, "1989! That's when I graduated high school! If I had gotten knocked up in high school, I could be your mother!"

So...we posed for this mother/daughter picture. Isn't she so cute?

She told me she was up for adoption because she has no mother or father. Summer then responds with, "I hate all the orphans in the whole world." She is so rude...plus she likes to quote Nacho Libre.

(Dixie's mother died of cancer when she was really young and her father passed away a few weeks ago. I probably would claim her as mine...if she didn't have any siblings. Fortunately for her, she has a bunch!)

I'm getting old...and I don't like it!

Not.one.little.bit!

Come on Summer..."Say it to my face!"

Sneakin' candy...

2009-05-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

This isn't something to be proud of, but some members of my family have gotten pretty good at sneakin candy (and some other things) into the movies. I think it goes back to the day when we use to go to the drive-in as children in the green station wagon and we would bring a large grease stained paper sack filled with buttered popcorn. Ya, that's probably it.

I will usually bring a couple water bottles for the kids and I to share and sometimes a little candy from whatever holiday leftovers we may have. I have on a few occasions popped my own popcorn and melted white chocolate and brought it in for my own movie goin pleasure. Derrek is probably the master of sneakin. He's actually proud of it. He tells a story of sneakin in pringles and sushi as well as a few more items. You can read it here. Summer usually makes fun of us and even ridicules us for doing this. But...it looks as if she has meandered over to the dark side and has started her own sneakin. This picture is of her and her friend Lindsay with a picture of all the candy they snuck in. I think they may have gone a little overboard...don't you? Especially, considering they are both dental hygienists and clean teeth for a living!

Ooooh! Thin mints!

She did it...

2009-05-01T08:37:00.000-06:00

Mikaela did it. She finally quit. Last Monday. I made her go to her last lesson and tell her teacher. She just sat there and wouldn't say anything. I kept mouthing to her..."tell her!" Mikaela started getting teary and her teacher asked what was wrong. I said, "she needs to talk to you." And her teacher looked at me and said, "is she quitting?" I shook my head yes and started crying. Mikaela started crying. We were all crying. Her teacher went through this really pretty song that is really easy for Mikaela, just in case she wants to sit down and play something. (Um...don't think that'll happen.) It is a pretty song, but it made me sad. Then, the mom for the next lesson came in and was chatting with me and I told her we quit today. She asked for my phone numbers and I started crying again and she was getting teary and said some uplifting things and then we hugged everyone and left. It was so emotional! I think it was because of 1) change - which we don't deal well with in our house, 2) PMS, 3) chaos and stress let down, 4) my feelings of parental failure and 5) PMS (did I already say that? It so deserves two!) I sometimes feel when my kids don't do something well that they might stand a better chance had they been born to different parents. For example, if Mikaela had been in a different family, she might be more successful at the piano, but because of our life, she wasn't given a fair chance. Does that make any sense? Anyone else know how this feels? Maybe I should stop talking!

So...it's over. Mikaela is happy. And...I no longer have to nag about piano practice. Maybe life is getting better!

Flashback Friday

2009-05-01T07:04:00.000-06:00

Did you know that sometimes Mother really does know best?

This memory is one of those times where I learned (the hard way) that mother knows best. It was middle school (again) and it was tryouts for the school talent show. I guess they have to do tryouts or the talent show would go on and on with ridiculously non-talented people like myself. So, I decided to try out. Now, I wasn't very good at the piano, but I partially blame my teacher. Not because he didn't understand the piano, but he wasn't a very good teacher. I also took dance lessons so I decided that I would dance. I learned the dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller. (This was the '80s people and it had just come out!) My mom had made a really cool costume with the red jacket and everything. So, this was actually really cool! My mom tells me that I should do the Thriller dance. Keep in mind that no one else was doing that back then. It was unique. My first thought is...no, I don't wanna do that dance. I wanna do something else. So, I start dreaming up some dance choreographed by me! I have these grandiose visions of how great it will be. I don't even remember what I planned to use for a costume. Yikes! I head to tryouts with this so-called made up dance. My sister stayed after school because she didn't have a ride and she got to watch this special event. Fortunately, she does not remember it. Phew! They call my name and I go up and do my dance. It.was.awful! I couldn't remember any of the awesome moves I had made up. I couldn't do the dance. I was freestylin it up there and it was REALLY bad! While I was up there, I knew that I was embarrassing myself, but I also knew that I had done it to myself. As soon as I was finished...with my enormous feelings of shame and regret...I knew that my mother knew best! I was so mad at myself for not listening to her. With a really cool, unusual, solid dance plus an awesome costume, I had a good chance of making it, but after what I did, I'm surprised they allowed me back into school. It was really bad!

I often tell Mikaela this story...I think she's sick of it.

Ok...

If she wants to learn the hard way...

I'm just saying!

It's A Boy!!!

2009-04-27T17:27:00.000-06:00

It's not my boy. It's Billy and Cham's baby. But, after two girls and no boys to carry on the family name, we are finally getting a boy and we are all pretty excited! Except maybe Ari who says boys stink! But, stinky or not, we love em! Mom has even purchased tons of boys clothes and now she doesn't have to return them all. Yay!
Check him out!

This is the 4D Ultrasound. Isn't it cool and a wee bit creepy?

I'm number freakin' one...baby!

Playing Guitar Hero...

2009-04-24T23:56:00.000-06:00

makes me want to cuss! Just thought you should know.

Flashback Friday

2009-04-24T14:44:00.000-06:00

I am posting a flashback of one of my most embarrassing moments from middle school. I'm not sure why I am posting this memory, but I'm gonna go against everything in me that says not to and just do it.

It's a simple memory, really. I'm sitting in class, listening to the teacher and all of sudden...I CUT THE CHEESE! In class. In middle school. I thought I would die. Literally...die a long, drawn out, slow, embarrassing death. Everyone started laughing really hard so I laughed along with them and tried to blame it on other people. But, there was no getting away with that. I think they all knew it was me!

A few minutes later during quiet reading time, I sorta meandered over to the book shelf to sit down on the floor and find myself a book to read. I sat there going through books when this cowgirl (whose name I still remember, btw) came over with her cowgirl boots and started kicking me. Kicking me...because I cut the cheese! Seriously! Isn't my life pretty much over by this time? The last thing I needed was some cowgirl kicking me with her dung covered boots letting me know that SHE knows it was me who cut the cheese. And that's about all I remember about the story. Apparently, the embarrassment didn't last long because no one else ever called me names or teased me about it again. Maybe I blocked it from my mind. Hopefully, my "quick to act" laughter along with the rest of the class made them all wonder who really did it. But, I'm pretty sure my red face gave it away.

It's my 20 year high school reunion this year. Maybe I'll bring me some cowgirl boots and kick her in the teeth!

The reason I say "cut the cheese" even though no one ever says that anymore, is because of this Roseanne episode. So funny. Here's a clip from the episode of Roseanne where Becky cuts the cheese in school. In front of all her hoity toity friends and her hot date for that night. She thinks she's gonna die. (Which I can totally relate too.) My favorite part is when Crystal brings over a card after she hears of Becky's "unfortunate incident" and Roseanne says they were thinking of having her put to sleep. I couldn't find a clip of that without it being 10 minutes long.

Help a family in need...

2009-04-24T08:15:00.000-06:00

I started doing research for our primary quarterly activity as well as my sharing time next weekend and the first thing I saw when I clicked on sugardoodle, was a notice to help a family in need. It was through LDSPrimaryPosters which also happens to be Don's cousin Emily. She is donating all her sales for the month of April to this family in her ward who tragically lost their father to a car accident. I figured the least I could do is help spread the word via my blog. So, if you are the primary chorister in your ward and you need some poster help, check out her blog and make a purchase during April and you will also be helping a family in need.

On a side note...any fresh ideas for a service quarterly activity? I was thinking of doing something with earth day in mind...maybe some recycling stuff.

Happy Earth Day!!!

2009-04-22T16:17:00.000-06:00

I have been a fan of Earth Day since college. Do something today to make a difference in our planet. We are destroying it and every little thing your family does makes a difference. Check out the trailer for the new Disney movie "earth" and also Oprah.com about her Earth day show. I think you'll find the info on her website shocking! I mean, Belluga whales are now getting breast cancer like humans because of the dioxins and crap in the garbage in our oceans. We are making it a difficult place for our posterity. I always think about my great grandchildren and what this world will be like for them. So, this week I ordered a second recycling can and plan to make a conscious effort to fill it instead of the garbage can. I'm also really trying to remember my reusable grocery bags. They're actually a lot better. You can fit tons of stuff in them AND carry like four at a time fairly easily. Get some if you don't have any. There are tons of tips out there. I'm encouraging you to do just one. Mikaela just told me that we are supposed to turn off all power tonight at nine for one minute. Imagine everyone doing that? What a difference a minute can make!
Earth trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qicARYcTe6w
Oprah: www.oprah.com

Hudson's gum surgery

2009-04-22T08:19:00.000-06:00

went well yesterday. He had a gingival grafting done. They all said he was the best patient. They were all surprised at how well he did, especially for being a 9 year old boy. Hudson pretty much rocks this being a patient thing. He's been a tough kid from the beginning. He's my only child that has had to endure the many pokes, tests and hospital stays from newborn on up.

He is taking it easy and eating like he's 9 months old again, but other than that...he's doing great! Yay!!!

Need some advice...

2009-04-21T20:11:00.001-06:00

Help! I have a situation. This is not your regular situation and it's going to be hard to explain what life is like for Mikaela without publicizing things that really shouldn't be publicized. But, my problem is that Mikaela hates piano. (I know you are all thinking that EVERY kid hates piano, but seriously, this is awful!) She absolutely hates it. The last few months, she has consistently not practiced well and not learned her songs. She even had to drop out of her last federation and AIM performances in March. She was completely unprepared for her recital and at the last minute dropped out of that. She stalls and stalls while avoiding practicing. I ask her over and over again to practice and then I get stern and start with the consequences and nothing. She sits at the piano and cries and cries and says all kinds of rude things to herself. She makes an hour piano practice last 2-3 hours and she still hasn't successfully practiced. I can sit with her some of the time, but we can't get past the bawling and destructive self talk. I'm exhausted and frustrated and I am really wondering why I am pushing this. Now, you have to keep in mind that there are some issues here that I can't explain as to the entire dynamic of our life situation. Just know that it's not the type of life where you come home from school and deal with the usual homework, piano, extracurricular activities and dinner time and chatting with friends, etc. There's some extenuating circumstances surrounding things. I wish I could tell you all of it because I think it might help you to understand but, just imagine chaos and mayhem and times it by 10 and you might be close to what we all deal with. You might think I'm kidding or feeling sorry for myself but, I'm not!
See, here's the background. Mikaela wanted to play piano so I signed her up. She has taken lessons for four years. She has a really good, yet strict piano teacher. Her teacher loves her to death and sees she has talent and has made every exception under the sun to try and make things simpler for Mikaela. Mikaela has always fought practicing, but that is how every child is, right? But lately, things are horrible! She goes to her dad's house every other weekend and Wednesday nights as well as half of any breaks and half the holidays. Oftentimes, he does not make her practice. She will go days without practicing at his house. He has even told her to just quit. He blames me for forcing her to take piano and calls me all these terrible names in front of the kids. He will do and say anything that is opposite of what I say and do. He will never support anything and he will always sabotage my efforts. He was forced to play piano as a child and it has served him no benefit at all. He hates it and every time it is brought up it is discussed with hate and anger. So, I am asking myself why I am doing this? It costs me a lot of money every month that I really don't have. It costs in gas and time to drive her there as well as the constant supply of books that are necessary. Our relationship is suffering and I just don't want this to be the thing she holds against me. Especially, when my personal opinion is that it just isn't important anymore. I have explained all the reasons to keep playing and to just keep with it and it will get better and better. She just doesn't care. She finds no joy in it whatsoever. Another piano teacher told me that it is supposed to be at least enjoyable. She is super emotional anyway because of her family situation and the hormones and being a pre-teen and all the stuff that comes with that. I wanna know why I should keep this up? I guess what I need to hear from people is that it isn't going to kill us if I let her quit. You know...it will be okay if she quits. It's really sad because she does have talent and I hate to see it all go to waste as well as all the time and money invested so far. But, I also hate to see her end up depressed, suicidal, drug addicted, a runaway, etc. Because if anything like that happens, none of this will matter anyway. But, I don't want to give in to her and let her win anything especially if she is using manipulation. But I also don't have it in me to fight her on this any longer. And, things are really bad right now. REALLY BAD! I can't tell you what or why but please trust me that she is going through what no 12 year old should ever go through. I get really angry even writing about it. So, let me know your thoughts. I've been praying about it and I am going to the temple about it, but I still want to know what you all think. Please be honest yet gentle. I don't need any more brutality! Thanks for being great friends!

Happy Birthday Cham and Loren!!!

2009-04-19T17:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was Cham's birthday and today is Loren's! Cham and Loren celebrated yesterday with lunch at chick-fil-a and a mommy/daughter pedicure. Then Cham and Billy went to dinner at Macaroni Grill where they just so happened to be the lucky table that got their meal comped for the night! Rock on! Then tonight we are having a rockin family BBQ (the first of the season) with yummy steaks and ribs (so they say...), mom's potato salad, Suzanne's pasta, asparagus, green salad and baked beans. And cake and strawberry shortcake for dessert! Delish! I love family BBQs. They are the best! So Happy Birthday to Cham and Loren! Thanks for being in our family.

I don't have any pictures of Cham and Loren together! Click on their names for the last year's post/pics for Loren and Cham.

Girls only day...

2009-04-14T07:35:00.000-06:00

Mikaela had Monday off for Spring Break, but the boys had to go back to school. So, I got to spend the day with Mikaela doing what she wanted to do. We ran to lunch at Noodles, where we both got the same delicious dish and then off to see Bride Wars. Super cute movie. While at the theater, we ran into a friend of Mikaela's and her sister and mom that were watching the same movie. This mom was actually my best friend during our middle school years. We killed a little time shopping at Target and then ended our "girls only" day by picking up two of the cutest little Y chromosomes ever!

Then...the night was testosterone filled as the four of us went to the Jazz v. Clippers game. We got free tickets and an awesome parking spot! Not to mention...the Jazz won 106 - 85.

We need more great days like this...

So.....

2009-04-11T16:30:00.000-06:00

I shopped early for Easter. I bought candy and a few little things (I don't go overboard on Easter) and planned to decorate Easter eggs and all that and then...I realized I didn't have my kids for Easter or Spring Break this year! So, I just pulled out a bag of M & M's from the hidden cupboard and realized that Summer and I have slowly eaten them ALL!!! Well...there's five left!

Rock on!!!

Happy Easter Ya'll

Again

2009-04-04T16:13:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago, I was awakened on a Sunday morning to this song titled "Again". I laid there and sobbed. This song spoke to me. It was so on point with what I am going through and it was about the things my other divorced friends are going through. My friends and I have been finding songs for each other to lift us up and help us move on. I was preparing this post as a dedication to my friends with this specific song and I wanted to attach the song to it before I posted, but I was having trouble doing it for weeks and weeks. I swear I tried everything. Finally, something huge and upsetting happened to me and then I re-visited this post and it all made sense. Now, I understand why I was to wait to post this until now.

I had no idea that last week would be one of the most shocking and upsetting weeks I have ever endured. I have been betrayed by a friend (that I have known for years) in a way that no one should have to. I was accused of hurtful things that are horribly disgusting and entirely untrue. I feel like she has ruined a long time friendship for things that are only assumed and lack any foundation. My heart aches because of the loss of someone I really thought cared as well as the attack on me personally.

As I reverted back to this post, I realized that I was being prepared for this moment. I thought I had already dealt with the worst of the judging and ridicule, but I hadn't, and the Lord knew that I wasn't finished. My family, friends, my faith and love for the Lord as well as his love for me has helped me through this awful pain. This post is dedicated to my friends and others who have to deal with this stuff. It's awful...and if you are judging others in this situation, please don't. You have no idea what is going on and you have no right to judge them. I have another friend who judged single people all the time and made rude comments about them and assumptions as to why they weren't married yet and then came the humbling experience...her husband shocked her with the news that he was cheating on her and was planning to marry the mistress. She is now single and enduring all the pain that goes along with it. (Being without your children, being unaware of anything that goes on in the "other" half of their life, not being able to comfort them when they are sick, going weeks without them.) It's like nothing you could ever imagine. Your heart aches and the pain never goes away. It isn't easy and it isn't fun and it isn't the choice that any of us planned on. It often happens simply by chance. So, don't think you are immune. Don't think you are too good or too worthy for it to happen. It happens to the best of us. And now to my original dedicatory post....

This is to all my friends who have had to go through the loss of a spouse either by death or divorce and have had to endure the ridicule and judgment of others who can not even begin to empathize. Some mean well, while others are just plain hurtful. This is for those times when we need help hanging on, when we seek a little peace, when our hearts have had enough, when we've given our all and we need that reassurance that we can and will make it.

My wish is that we can always remember there is one who understands more than anyone else, one who truly knows what we have gone through and are going through and we can trust in Him to lead us on the right path as we start over again. The one that we can seek refuge from the constant storms of those with mere mortal understanding - those who may never understand what price we have to pay. My wish for them is that they never have to...

Again - Jessie Clark Funk

Again

by: Jessie Clark Funk

I've wrestled with demons and darkness. I've wrestled with what has been lost.

I carry this crushing weight on my shoulders and try not to think of the cost.

It's more than a single decision. It's giving a part of myself.

It's something I simply can't do on my own so I'm pleading with you for your help.

Chorus:

Again and again I've asked myself why? I don't think that I have any tears left to cry.

My soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest. I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best.

It hurts to move on from the place I am in. But, you understand where I've been.

You reassure me it's time to start over again.

I'm finally ready to listen. I'm finally ready to hear.

Struggling to get to a place you can reach me. Where peace can speak louder than fear.

I can't see the end of the story. There's no way to know how it ends.

For now I let go and I trust you to lead me and show my heart where to begin.

Chorus

All of the pain and confusion I'm going through. I'm turning it over to you.

Willing to trust, it's the right thing to do.

Chorus

Out of the mouths of babes...

2009-04-03T21:56:00.000-06:00

Dalton: Hi Summer...did you have fun in Hawaii?
Summer: Yep
Dalton: Did you see snakes?
Summer: No, I saw geckos and turtles.
Dalton: Was your favorite part skydiving?
Summer: Yep
Dalton: Did you see a mermaid?
Summer: No...no mermaids.

Gotta love 'em...kids!

April Fools Day

2009-04-01T11:43:00.000-06:00

Gotta love those kids:

Hudson: Today is Summer's birthday party and we are going!
Dalton: We are?!
Hudson: April Fools

Dalton: Mom, I just lost a tooth!
Me: You did?!
Dalton: April Fools

Mother Nature: It's Springtime!
Utahns: It is?!
Mother Nature: April Fools
Utahns: @$#!&*

Hudson wrapped some cardboard in a candy bar wrapper to give to his teacher today. I can't wait to hear how he responded!!! Hudson is just positive that he is gonna pull one over on him. hee hee

Which wolf?

2009-03-30T21:35:00.000-06:00

I went to the library tonight for Mikaela's tutoring session and picked up two books for myself. One is Dr. Phil's latest "Real Life" and the other is called "Never give in, Never give up" by Carlana Stone Lawson. I saw the "Never Give In" book just sitting there on the shelf and it said on the cover "a gripping and inspiring story about how to soar through life's adversities." I decided I could use an inspiring story, not to mention, one that would help me put my life back into perspective. It's about a girl who was paralyzed at age seventeen and was never able to walk again, but teaches about her lessons that she has learned along the way. I have wanted to purchase the Real Life book for some time now and saw it sitting on the shelf too so I grabbed them both. There is a part in the Never Give In book where she talks about choosing to obsess on the negative and in so doing, miss out on the little things that bring us joy OR choosing to exploit the joy. It is often the simple things that give our life meaning. She also gives exercises and one of those was to record every couple of days, two or three simple things that you are grateful for. So, tonight I am grateful for my children, my family, and my friends. Those aren't simple things, but it's a grateful place to start.

Then, I heard this story in a talk and I saw it on Lisa Bearnsen's blog and thought I would post it on my blog as a reminder to myself.

Two Wolves

One evening an elderly Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Which of your wolves do you want to win? I definitely need to stop feeding the Evil wolf inside of me. Thanks to everyone for your blogging hugs! I appreciate it.

I can't even think of a title...

2009-03-30T09:25:00.000-06:00

I've had a terrible week. It started out sad. Sad about all things I hate like cancer, mental illness and such. Sad that young people die. Sad that life is hard. Sad that things don't turn out like you plan. Just...sad...you know? Then, sad turned to shock and as that wore off it turned to extreme hurt and then anger.

Makes me wonder why?

Why are people so mean?

Why are even good people so hurtful?

I was betrayed this week. By someone who I thought I knew. Someone I trusted with my life. Someone that did something so shocking that no one else I know has advice on how to handle it.

Life is confusing.

I don't understand people.

I don't understand human-ness. But, I'm not sure that's all this is.

I know that not everyone has to deal with craziness. Some have to deal with other pains. I don't want any of it and I don't wish it on anyone. But, I especially don't like crazy. I guess that means I'm ready for the other side. Is this how it has to feel in order to desire it, rather than fear it? Do we have to be hurt so painfully here on earth, that we can only look for respite on the other side? I don't think I would feel this over there. I don't think this person would think evil thoughts and do such hurtful actions over there. I've never had this happen before. Will the craziness ever end? Can't I just be a daughter of God, doing my best, raising my children and living the best life I can? None of us are perfect, but we're not supposed to hurt each other either. There are better ways of dealing with issues. I guess that's when you let go.

I'm back to feeling sad.

Happy Birthday Gram!!!

2009-03-28T20:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet and funny Grandma Maxi. Here is the link to her last year's post. I know she wasn't feeling well on her birthday so I hope she got better so she could party it up at her birthday luncheon with the fam! Here's to you Gram...and many more. Eat a piece of cake for me!

March Madness giveaway!!!

2009-03-23T12:07:00.000-06:00

Go to Mormon Mommy Blogs to enter their March Madness giveaway! They have some cool prizes available. I never win these things but, I do have one friend that won once. So...ya never know.

Flashback Friday!

2009-03-20T11:17:00.000-06:00

This memory really isn't that exciting, but it is something I wanted to document.

Today's flashback is all about blankies! Each of my children had a favorite blankie. The one they couldn't live without. It was weird that they all attached to a blankie as I don't remember any of my siblings nor myself doing that but, nonetheless, they did. It was cute, but at times...it was a pain. I am a huge sentimental person so the plan was to always save their blankies in the special treasures box for safe keeping. It was just a matter of when they would give it up. The biggest stress for me was trying not to lose the blankies so they would be available for safe keeping.

Here are their stories:

Mikaela had a blankie that was yellow on one side and hearts on the other. She was attached to it from the beginning. There were others to choose from, but her heart belonged to this one. She slept with it for a long time until I finally packed it away in her special treasures box (about 2 years ago...yes, it's true!) None of my kids took blankie everywhere...you know, like the grocery store or church (I think Dalton tried church for a while)...it was just a home thing, doctor's visits or when we would go on trips. With Mikaela we traveled a lot. We lived in Iowa and would travel to Utah and California for vacation to see family. Every flight and drive, we would pack that blankie along for the ride. Blankie brought Mikaela much comfort. One visit to Utah, we stayed a week longer than dad and we were watching some home videos. Mikaela was probably 12 months old or so. She saw the video of a baby laying on HER blankie and HER dad was talking to said baby. She looked at the tv screen, put her hand up on the screen and said in a soft, yet sad voice "da da, blankie." It was so sad, so we decided there would be no more watching videos of said baby and blankie while Mikaela was around! On another trip to California, we packed the blankie. Mikaela was older, but times were tough for our family. The kids relied on blankies a lot during these times. We always packed blankies in our carry-ons so we had them on the plane as well as if we were ever stranded somewhere without our luggage. The kids and I were flying back early on a Sunday morning so we could be in the primary program that day. I was in charge of the program and they kids were in it. So, we were at the airport very early in the am. We boarded our plane home and did our program and all was well. (Aside from pure exhaustion on mommy's part!) Don was coming home that night at 11 pm. At some point during the day, Mikaela realized that she has lost her blankie. Her exact words were, "you mean I've lost my blanket that I've had my whole life?" We unpack and can't find it anywhere! I remember her with it in the airport waiting to board our plane to Utah, but don't remember seeing it anytime after that. So, we call dad to ask him to check at the Oakland airport and tell him exactly where we had been sitting. He comes home and low and behold, he has blankie. Apparently, we left it where we were sitting and someone took it to the check-in desk and it was just sitting on the counter. It stayed at the airport all day and came home safe and sound! Whew...relief!

Hudson's blankie was blue and white checker on one side and Noah's Ark on the other. It was given to us by our neighbor Terry's mom in Iowa. We lived next to the Teela's and the night before I had Hudson, I was in labor while visiting with them. Her sister was also in the hospital laboring all day and was hoping to have her baby after midnight so her birthday would be 5-5-99! I wasn't due till the 25th so I figured I was just enduring braxton hicks. The next morning I wake up at 5 am and I am not having braxton hicks. I am in true labor...but I didn't really know it. That's another crazy story. Anyway, Hudson was born and Terry's mother came to visit her. Terry came over and said her mom wanted to see Hudson. I think she took him over to her house first and I came over a few minutes later. When I got there (it was like five steps away...apartments), her mom had him wrapped in this Noah's Ark blankie. I thought to myself, hmmm...she must think he's cold cuz I didn't have him in a blanket. Then, Terry told me that was Hudson's blanket. Her mother had made it for him! How sweet is that? So, that became Hudson's blankie. I took Hudson on July 3rd to get his Kindergarten shots. I remember this because it was the city parade and Don was in it and we were rushing like mad to get it all done. Hudson took blankie with him to get his shots. With all the rushing, we lost blankie. Had no idea where it was. I went back to the parade route, asked friends, and checked the car. I also called the doctor's office but blankie was no where to be found! Tears, sadness. What am I gonna do? I searched fabric stores for this material (it was very popular at one time) but it was no longer available. I posted on craigslist that I was looking for this material. I would check ebay but, no one had this material. Hudson was devastated. After nine months of mourning the loss of blankie...we had a doctor's appointment. As we were leaving I had a thought to ask one more time if it could be in the lost and found even though I knew it wouldn't be there. I mean, if the girl didn't see it a few days after we lost it, it surely won't be there after this long. She takes us to the lost and found and BINGO...there is Hudson's Noah blankie!!! It was a miracle! And now, it's packed away.

Dalton's blankie is a Winnie the Pooh receiving blanket. We had two of them. They were given to me for Mikaela in a two pack. For some reason, this became Dalton's blankie and fortunately we had two and he loved them both equally. This twosome became necessary because when Dalton suddenly had a dad's house AND a mom's house...there was also a blankie for each house! Dalton was my only thumb sucker, but he would also only suck his thumb when he had blankie. This was a good thing because we could control the thumb sucking...somewhat. Sometimes he would be watching tv and run and get blankie so he could hold a corner and roll it in between his fingers and suck his thumb. Those blankies were always with us and we didn't really feel a loss with any blankie because we always had the two. But, I just found out recently that Dalton had THROWN his blankie at dad's house away when he was done with it!!! WHAT? The sentimental part of me died a little at the thought. Fortunately, I have my blankie which is nicely packed away.

So, that is the saga of the blankies...sometimes I pull them out and remember my sweet babies and their blankies.

They grow up way too fast so...enjoy the moment!

I fell on my...

2009-03-16T21:16:00.000-06:00

butt and bruised it something fierce! But, that's not all...I also broke my camera lens. We went to the Mayan for Ari and Suzanne's birthday dinner and I hung my purse on one side of the chair, the camera bag on the other side of the chair, and the coat over the back side and went to sit my fine little self down when...BAM...yep, on my arse I went. Onto the hard cement they call a floor! It hurt...and I was mad. Then, found out the camera lens was bent, or jammed or whatever you want to call it, I was more than mad! Dang! Anyone know anything about camera lenses? I'm pretty sure it's like anything with the "D" curse and also being electronic, it's not worth fixin'. I'm afraid after paying someone 50 bones to tell me what's wrong, I will soon discover I could've bought another one for a little more online. Dang...again!

Flashback Friday

2009-03-13T09:32:00.000-06:00

I remember when Mikaela was approximately 9 months old. She was a stubborn sleeper. She didn't need a lot of sleep and didn't nap for too long. I had the hardest time getting her to learn to fall asleep on her own. I never let her sleep with me and always made her cry herself to sleep. It was difficult and challenging. One night in particular, she wouldn't go to sleep. I would put her in her crib and she would cry and cry. I went back in a few times to try and calm her down. Nothing was working. I decided she needed to just cry it out. So, I let her. I let her...for 45 minutes! She cried in her crib and I cried on the couch listening to her. It was awful! I felt awful! Then, after the 45 minutes of constant crying...I heard it...SILENCE! I waited a little bit and then quietly went into her room to peek at her and make sure she was actually asleep. She WAS asleep, but she had cried herself to sleep sitting up! Yep, sitting in a corner of the crib. I could see her tiny little fuzzy head and I wanted to take a picture so badly...but I didn't because I also didn't want to wake her up! The risk definitely outweighed the benefits at this point. It was both cute and sad at the same time. I had to leave her in that position for a little while longer to make sure she was sound asleep and then I moved her to a more comfortable position. Poor little stubborn thing!

Happy 4th Birthday Arianna!!!

2009-03-12T10:42:00.000-06:00

So, today my little niece Ari turns 4. She is going to celebrate her birthday Mayan style for herself and the adults and Chuck-e-cheese style for the preschoolers in her life. I hope she has a super fun day. Love you little Ari and stay out of my chapstick! Click here for last year's post.

Happy Birthday Suzanne!

2009-03-11T10:29:00.000-06:00

Today is Suzanne's birthday. I hope she has a wonderful day. I love you Suz and thanks for all you do for all of us! Click here for last year's tribute.

Give oh give away!

2009-02-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

Go here: http://www.jellybeansboutiquebows.blogspot.com/
to check out their cute little girls' bows and enter for a giveaway. Makes me wanna another girl. Too bad...I can't have one!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

2009-02-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my mom, Kathy. I hope you had a nice day. Go here for last year's post and pictures. Thanks for all you do for us. I love you mommy!!!

P.S. I found your present...

Happy 30th Birthday Alicia!

2009-02-22T16:31:00.001-07:00

I am such a blog slacker and a bad friend. I owe Alicia a post for her birthday weeks ago. Alicia is actually Summer's friend from childhood but she is like one of the family. We call her our surrogate sister. She has been a huge support through a lot of crap that has gone on and she has tolerated a lot of crap from a certain someone that a person shouldn't have to tolerate. And surprisingly enough, she still comes around. Luckily, she is able to "consider the source!" Anyway, here are some things I love about Alicia:

She is funny
She has good advice
She's a good people person
You can call her anytime - just to vent
She's good to be with at a party
She'll never let me live down the "Colorado" era
She can laugh at any bad situation and make you laugh at your own bad situations
She will call people for you and do things you don't dare do yourself
She can totally prepare you for a job interview
She can relate to dealing with "crazy people"
She is a good listener
She will return things to the store when you don't want to do it yourself
She's outgoing and friendly
She can do the heimlich on herself

And, since this is so late, I already know she had a great birthday and an awesome party to boot. Who could ever forget...Bob Dole, Ford Fusion from the failing Ford franchise, and "so nobody will eat them?" Scattegories rocks!!!

Flashback Friday

2009-02-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

Remember on February 8, 2009 when I posted a "pay it forward" posting. I remember thinking it was a fun idea and I wanted to be one of the first three to comment on my sister-in-law's post. I happened to be the first one and it was within minutes of her posting, so I therefore thought, it must be fate or for a super important reason or something! Then, I posted mine and got one fellow blogger lady (whom I've never met) to comment and then no one else! Remember that time? Ya, that was awesome. I really felt the love. Yep.I.was.feeling.it!

I remember thinking to myself "Why doesn't anyone else want to participate?" All the other people had people racing to comment on their blogs. I felt the entire gamut of emotions...sad, unloved, rejected, angry, dissed, pathetic. Ya know, the girl that no one thinks of...the one that's easily forgotten. That's me. Takes me back to elementary school wherein I was the last one chosen for every sports event. I was the untalented, uncoordinated, ugly girl with ugly clothes. Yep, I went there. I went to that place. Deep, deep down...and...I cried. Just kidding. I didn't cry, but I wanted to.

I just wonder why? Why is it that my pay it forward didn't work?

I guess I should really look on the bright side of things, ya know, the positive side. Now...I don't have to worry about what to send anyone. Except for my one lady who commented who has yet to give me her address. I don't have to pay it forward cuz there is no one to forward to! Does that still count as paying it forward? I mean if you try and it fails, then you're done, right? You still get the pleasure of feeling good, feeling as if you served, feeling like you made a difference, feeling like you really paid it forward!

Has this happened to anyone else or is this simply reflective of my life?

Be the ball...and now it's over!

2009-02-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

Hudson decided at the last minute (meaning a teensy bit after the sign-up deadline) that he wanted to play basketball this year. I was really surprised because I have been asking him consistently for the last couple of years if he wanted to play and he consistently said no. I only wanted him to play because #1 it doesn't interfere with soccer, #2 he's tall, and #3 all mormon boys play basketball and I didn't want him looking like a tall kid that should play and then doesn't know how to play. Ya know what I mean?

I guess he and some friends had been playing basketball at recess and he decided it was actually fun. Anyway, we got him signed up and he got super lucky to play with his friends from school, Logan and Kaden as well as his longtime friend Josh! We got even more lucky when Josh's dad decided to assistant coach! So, basketball season...we're happy. Soccer this year...not so much! But, I'm trying really hard to be more positive so I will refrain from talking about the soccer fiasco of 08-09! Here are some pictures from basketball and I realize they aren't good.

Now by the time I got these pictures ready to go with this post...basketball season is over! I am so lame! Better late than never...right? That's my motto. They should put it on my headstone. I'll probably be late to heaven...or hell! Okay, focus! Back to the post.

Hudson and his three friends!!!

Hudson shooting a free throw

Josh shooting a free throw

Flashback Friday

2009-02-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

This memory takes place in college maybe 1990 or so. I had to take a weights class and I was one of four girls in the entire class. You'd think that'd be cool, right. I mean good odds and all. But, no. No hot guys (in case you were wondering). And after this story you'll see why I was glad there weren't any.
The class took place on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. We each doubled up with partners to do the workouts we were required to do. We go to the bench press to do it for the very first time. The other two girls and then myself and my partner. The two girls each take their turns. It's all good. My partner takes her turn. That's good too. I go to take my turn. I lay my little self on the bench and grab hold of the bar with weight on it and push with all my might...grunt...the bar doesn't move! Not only doesn't it move...it doesn't even budge! The teacher takes off the weights. So, we're talking bar only...no weights. (I think it was 40-50 pounds.) I try again with all my might...grunt! The bar still.does.not.move! Then, the teacher says in partial disgust with a hint of snickering, "I'm sorry but you're going to have to use these special weights over here until you work up to benching the bar only." So...I got to start out benching like twenty pounds on the special bars. How humiliating! Not only was I the only person in class that couldn't bench the bar, but I was the only girl that couldn't bench the bar. I felt so stupid and weak and embarrassed. To my credit, I have always been small on top (and large on the bottom) and very, very weak. I have never had any upper body strength at all. So, this was actually no surprise. Also...I was only 19!

Another story from my weights class happened on a Tuesday when our teacher made my partner and I hold weights and do 300...oh ya you read it right...300 calf raises off a step. (Have you ever tried it? Don't.) The next day (was a Wednesday and we didn't have class) I couldn't get out of bed or stand without severe pain in my calves. I could barely walk. It was more like a hobble. The pain was like nothing I had experienced before. I had to pump the advil all day. But, I still got up and hobbled my butt all over campus and attended all my classes. On Thursday when we went back to weights class (with sore calves...still), my partner and I talked about how sore we both were. She was so sore that she didn't even go to school on Wednesday at all! She had to stay in bed all day. I'm gonna wager that the guy didn't know what he was doing. Shouldn't a weights teacher be some type of personal trainer or at least have a degree in exercise science or something like that?

Happy Birthday Papa Bill

2009-02-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my daddy! I hope he had a wonderful day! Any birthday is better than last year's birthday wherein he spent a week in the hospital and almost died ON his birthday! So, here's to another year! Love you daddy. Click here for last year's tribute.

I know. I know. Some people (cough...Summer) think it's lame that I am not doing a long birthday post of awesomeness for every person this year. But, let's face it. Unless said people are blogging and doing the other crazy things I'm doing, they can't be having an opinion. Keeping up on everything is hard. Also, I can't get pictures on here fast enough so sometimes blogging is just annoying.

Pay it forward!

2009-02-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

I saw this post on my sister-in-law's blog and thought it sounded like fun. When I saw that I had 365 days to actually do it I figured it was totally do-able. Can't wait to make something fun and creative (ha! we'll see how that turns out...don't get too excited)

{The Rules}

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!

2. Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love! If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same! SO, REMEMBER...Pay it forward!

P.S. If you are one of the first three and don't have a blog to post on I have come up with a wonderful idea. Take the next three friends that call you just to chat and Pay It Forward to them! Then challenge them to do the same :)

Let's help make this a wonderful world to live in and show our friends how much we care for them :)

Utes were sugarific, baby!!!

2009-02-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

We watched the sugar bowl with our favorite Ute fans. This time there were a ton of Marchants. Kyle's three sisters, a brother and sister-in-law, a brother-in-law and some nieces and nephews. Oh ya, Deann, Brianna, Zoe, Austin and the Morgans were there too.

I ran to the grocery store and when I came back, Mikaela had helped the boys do this to their faces. Now that's Ute spirit!

Here's a picture of the food table. We had homemade cafe rio for dinner. Tamra strategically placed the hand sanitizer at the beginning of the table. She had high hopes. I've mentioned before that Tamra and I compliment each other well. I asked her what I could bring to this little shin dig and she, of course, wanted me to bring nothing. I got an idea late in the day to make homemade guacamole because they don't really like avocados at their house and I figured that would be something they wouldn't have. I had no idea what was on the menu and when I arrived she did have guacamole but it was store bought and Austin had complained a tiny bit about it. So, I showed up with the homemade stuff and it complimented her meal well. She went to a lot of work and it was delish!

Josh and Hudson

Jen and Josh

Just a portion of the peeps

More peeps...

The rest of the peeps

Elyssa, Mikaela, Zoe, and Kennedy

Keslee, Tamra, and Larissa

Keslee and Larissa

Kath and Bella

Mike and Kyle

Deann and Brianna

The girls were goofing off for quite a while. I don't think they watched much of the game.

I love being one of those people that ruins the shot and you don't find out till later. Awesome!

And then they migrated outside to play...

barefoot...

Crazy cold!

Warming back up!

So tired...

The U wins...AGAIN! Rock on!

The after-party... party!!!

Flashback Friday...it's back!

2009-01-30T11:42:00.001-07:00

So, I have been slacking on the Flashback Friday thing. Instead of letting it go altogether I figured I would bring it back. Better late than never! So, here goes:

This memory dates back to 8th grade. Must be 1984-ish. I was in middle school and I was one of those very shy and quiet kids that no one knew existed, but I was really good with names and faces so I knew a lot of people. There were a couple of adorable, sweet and very popular girls and I just happened to have a class with one of them. I actually sat right in front of her. I never talked to her and we weren't friends, but one day I was at home going through my box of "treasures" that my mom had kept for me. In that box was a newspaper clipping of baby pictures. They were pictures of babies that were turning one! I was included in said newspaper clipping and I noticed another baby with the same name as this girl who sat behind me. Her name was Kari (said like Carrie). Somewhat an unusual spelling for her name so I figured maybe it was her. I took the clipping to school and then during our class together I turned around and showed it to her and the only thing I said was, "is this you?" She said, "yes! oh my gosh!" with excitement and a smile. She had never seen it before and had no idea it existed. That was the ice breaker we needed to begin a very long and wonderful friendship. To this day, we are still friends. She is there for me no matter what and no matter how much time passes. We can go without contact for a time and pick right up where we started. We have so much history together. We cheered in high school together. We took driver's ed together and actually drove with each other. We took the handicapped kids on activities together. She was my rock when my parents divorced. We lived/worked/went to school together freshman year in college. We both became paralegals. She moved to Idaho and met her husband and then moved back to Utah. She hosted and helped me celebrate Don's 30th party. We both got married and had babies one month apart from each other. I moved to Iowa and then back to Utah. We had second children six months apart from each other. Our kids went to preschool together. We had our third babies a year apart from each other. She moved up to Logan. She was my rock when I got divorced. She has always been there for me and I love her to death! I am so glad that I made that first move (which was totally out of my comfort zone - btw) and that she is so sweet and kind that she actually befriended me despite my nerdy and borderline stalker approach. The Lord puts people into our lives when we need them and I am so glad he brought us together. Thanks Kari for everything and thanks for the funny memories.

Sundance '08

2009-01-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

Why does it say 08? Because...that's when we went to Sundance. I didn't go this year because no one really wanted to and it was freakin' freezing! Last year we went to Park City and hung out but I never posted my pictures so I decided to do it now. Just pretend this is from 09. You would have assumed it anyway, if I hadn't told you.

Danielle, Mom, Billy and I went to Park City to hang out. We took some pictures and froze to death. But...it was still fun. We didn't see any movies while we were there, we just hung out. All of my siblings saw a movie the day Summer and I were supposed to celebrate our birthdays. That's another story.

We saw Adrian Grenier after a suh-weet day of skiing and some postal shopping. (I'm quite sure he was sending postcards!) We saw a few other celebs that weren't very well known. Only Danielle could tell who they were because she is so good at spotting celebs. I swear she can spot anyone. Literally. Then, Danielle and I went to Park City on another day to hang out again. We tried to catch a shot of Charlize Theron but alas she was too quick for us and escaped out a side door of a restaurant and into a car and drove off. It was very James Bond-like!

I did an interview for a small station on t.v. It was pretty ridiculous actually. I sounded like an blubbering idiot in front of the camera with a bunch of crew members staring at me. I was just thankful that I had on a snow hat, sunglasses and scarf. I'm pretty incognito and no one actually watches that station. I figured they wouldn't use it because it was so awful, but Derrek said they probably will because they usually like dumb people. You know like Jay Leno's stupid "Jay Walkers." Um...crap.

We saw Nick Cannon, Josie Moran and Tommy Davidson (who is very short and smiley). Josie let us take a picture but I think Danielle has it. We also ran into Bart Johnson. Bart is an old friend of Danielle's from our college days at UVSC. He played the part of Troy's dad in High School Musical. Danielle took our picture for the kids because we thought they would be interested...a little. They weren't. They didn't really care. It may be because he looks so raggedy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun. But not enough fun to do it again in 09. Derrek did work the Kenneth Cole Black party this year. He was in charge of the swag. Maybe he'll post his pictures on his blog but if not, you can check em out on his facebook. I hyper-linked everyone to their IMDB page just FYI cuz I'm sweet like that.

Me and Bart

Mom, Billy, me and Dani

Adrian Grenier - Entourage hottie

Aquarium Time

2009-01-25T14:59:00.000-07:00

Suzanne, Nick, Cham and I decided to take the kiddos to the Acquarium on January 2nd. The kids enjoyed it and it was pretty cool to see. At one point, they allow the kids to touch the stingrays. They informed the kids that there were two rules: 1) touch them gently and 2) use only two fingers. I told the other adults to listen and they would probably hear Dalton (who just happens to be a total "rule follower") discipline someone at some point. After about 5 minutes, I hear my little Dalton say about three different times, "two fingers!" He takes after his momma. Too afraid to break any rules but hating the fact that others do! We didn't get great pictures but here are a few.

All six kiddos -Ari, Dalton, Macie, Loren, Mikaela and Hudson

The Big 3-0!!!

2009-01-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

Happy 30th to Summer! Since I am also another year older and a teeny bit more lazy I think I will link you to last year's birthday posts instead of doing up a new birthday post this year. It's basically the same. No one's really changed much and I'd just be repeatin' mostly anyways!

Love ya!

Just so ya'll know...

2009-01-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

I did not do that last post for my own birthday. I mean...I like myself but NOT that much! Thanks Summer and Dani for doing it. Loves!

Thanks to Val for posting this picture collage and birthday wish for both Summer and I on the lawn!

Happy Birthday Larissa!!!

2009-01-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

So....somehow I finagled my way into letting Larissa allow me to post something for her on her birthday. Big mistake? Probably. But since she does it for everyone else, I wanted to do it for her. I will be as nice as I possibly can. Promise!

Things I love about Larissa:

she always gets things done no matter how busy she is

she always looks cute wherever she goes

she has the 3 cutest little stinkers in the world

people can always go to her house for dinner and she'll make something

I can talk her into doing most things-but she still wont budge on skydiving

she is very adventurous (esp. for how uncoordinated she is)

she is fun to hang out with

she is super active in the church (primary presidency)

she shares birthdays with me every year. We're like twins with 8 years difference.

she laughs at EVERYTHING

she takes notes whilst watching Dr. Phil

she loves to be around people and is very social

she is the BEST mom in the world

she braves living with Papa Bill and takes care of him because he's a big kid

she goes to Costco on saturdays (i don't necessarily like this about her, but I give her kudos for daring to do it)

some of the greatest people in the world born on the same day

Tiffany Amber Thiessen-best actress ever! (1974)

Tito Ortiz- UFC Fighter (1975)

Rutger Hauer- dutch actor. Plus he was awesome in "Blind Fury" (1944)

John Hancock- American Statesman (1737)

Ryan Reynolds (1976)

Al Yankovic (1959)

Amazing Jan. 23 history

In 2004, J-Lo breaks engagement to Ben Affleck :(

In 1978, Sweden became the first nation in the world to ban aerosol sprays, believed to be damaging to earths ozone layer. (thanks Sweden, and Jan. 23 for making it happen)

In 1993, Nancy Kerrigan won the US female figure skating championship (take that Tonya Harding)

In 2006, scientists win federal $ to map genomes of pigs in hope of producing better pork (that's a great investment if you ask me)

In 1849, Elizabeth Blackwell becomes the first female physician in the US.

and last, but most definitely NOT least

In 1984, Hulk Hogan defeats Iron Sheik to become the WWF champ!

Door-to-door homemade birthday cards! Woot-woot!

2009-01-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

So, I'm at home minding my own business when there comes a knock at the door. I open it to find a handicapped man about my age or so. He proceeds to tell me in his jumbled words that he has a homemade birthday card for sale. He's holding it up and it's a piece of red card stock folded in half with Happy Birthday written on it. He tells me that it's for sale for two quarters. I said, "Oh, okay, so you're selling the card for fifty cents. Hold on a minute." He clarified, "two quarters and I have two." As he pulls out another card from his pocket. It was rather magical that it wasn't even bent. I don't know how he did it! So, I go to my purse and pull out two quarters to buy a card from him. He was so excited when I gave him the quarters. We said our thanks to each other and I see him go over to his bike. Which is also super impressive that the cards weren't bent from a bike ride. I have never seen this guy before and have no idea who he is or where he lives. Anyway, I decided I am SO giving it to Summer for her birthday! The best freakin' card she's ever had!

Because it was such an odd yet awesome experience, I couldn't contain my excitement so I told Suzanne and Summer about the card. I couldn't help it! They both pointed out to me that I was a jerk for only buying one card. If I had bought the other one, he could have headed home. I am such a jerk! But, I only had two quarters and I was afraid if I gave him a dollar for both cards he might get upset and freak out. Okay...I'm justifying. Remember when I said I was frugal? What do you bet he comes back now selling me cards for every occasion? Or, maybe some useless household items? And, how the heck did he know that it was my birthday and Summer's birthday in a week...Hmmmm?

Mormon mommy bloggers rock!!!

2009-01-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to win me a birthday present. Ya, it's better than buying one for yourself. So, head on over here: http://mormonmommyblogs.blogspot.com/ for their January giveaways. There are some pretty cool items and all ya gotta do is comment on the post to enter. You can't win unless you enter so...do it!

My latest love letter...

2009-01-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

Dalton brought this home to me. Notice how wrinkled it is? All his papers come home squished in his backpack like that. It's pretty fun to try to read it all and straighten it all out. This was a cute little letter he wrote to me. It says, "Dear mom, i am so! glad! i Hav! a! mother! i wooD be criyeeng to deth if i DiDnt Hav a mom. your son Dalton." All his D's are capitalized because of his name. Looks like we need to work on capitals and lower case letters and a little punctuation will help. He's exclamation point happy like his mother!!!

Dalton's on a letter writing kick!

2009-01-18T16:40:00.001-07:00

I know this is hard to read but, it's so cute I had to post it. It says: "Dear Clint, you are my best frend. Everee tim i can go to your hous i wil or if you can cam to my hous i will let you cam over. Your friend, Dalton"

Is it time to start thinking about this...

2009-01-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Is it swimsuit season, yet? I see the stores are starting to sell them. I would like it to be. Not the swimsuit part but, the warm weather part. I love nice weather and this winter is killing me! Now, I realize that it started later and all that but it's sooooooo stinkin' cold! Even the water coming out of the faucet seems colder than normal. It freezes to the bone. I can't even seem to warm up...ever! Not only that, I keep hearing of everyone's plans to vacation here in the next few months. Hawaii, Florida, Mexico and so many cruises. I'm so craving the beach right now. Does anyone know of any good deals to Ixtapa?

I think we should get Snickers one of these super hot ensembles? Don't you? Or, maybe one for Snickers and Princess!!!

It's a small world after all...

2009-01-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

Today I went to lunch with my high school friends Jen and Christie. We were celebrating mine and Jen's birthdays. Thanks Christie! She knows how to get things done! While eating at the yummy sandwich shop, we see another friend from high school, Celia. I see Celia all the time because our kids go to school together, but she hadn't seen Jen and Christie for so long. So, that was nice and then she tells us she is meeting two other girls from our high school class for lunch. It just so happens that she is also eating with a Jennifer and Kristy! Weird? Ya, I know! So, we are all sitting back to back when we see another friend, Angela, from high school walking out with her lunch to go. I make her come over and say hi to everyone. So funny. I love this small world...and I love seeing old friends!

I'm supposed to be the teacher, but yesterday I was the student!

2009-01-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

I had to do the sharing time lesson for Primary yesterday. The theme for the week was "I lived with Heavenly Father before I came to earth." I started the lesson by reviewing the plan of salvation. Then, of course focused on our premortal life. It was a great reminder for me. I loved reviewing what we know about our premortal life and that we need to obey our Father in Heaven because of faith and not because of our memory or knowledge of Him. Preparing for this lesson really helped me focus on my mortal life. This part of our existence is a time to learn to prove ourselves, choose to come unto Christ, and prepare to be worthy of eternal life. It is also a time when we can help others find the truth and gain a testimony of the plan of salvation. It also reminded me to read my patriarchal blessing again. It was so refreshing and uplifting to read the blessings and guidance that has been set out for me in my life. I taught the children that we can't remember our premortal life because a veil covered our memories and we forgot our heavenly home. But, that we will know our Father in Heaven and will remember how well we knew Him. How exciting it will be to return to Him someday. I went over the words to the song we are learning this month called "I Lived in Heaven" and I really loved the last two verses of the song:

"Giving us hope of a wonderful life yet to be -

Home in that heaven where Father is waiting for me."

We also talked about the responsibilities we were given in the premortal life as well as the responsibilities that people in the scriptures were given to help accomplish Heavenly Father's work. After this lesson, I felt that I was actually prepared to deal with the trials that I have been asked to deal with. (Even though I constantly complain and cry about not being able to handle them!) I love this quote from Brigham Young:

"Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation."

I realize that everyone has trials and problems that they have to deal with. And, to each person, their individual trials also seem unbearable! I also remembered a quote I heard in college that I always try to remember, but forget to follow. I don't know where it came from, but I like it.

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

So, there you have it. I know what I need to do and now I just need to do it! Stop wallowing about my life and stop comparing myself to others. Deal with life as it is and rise above every experience that I am called to suffer!

Me thinkest that is easier said than done!

Happy Birthday...here's a new wrinkle!

2009-01-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

So, a few days ago I got in my car and the sun was shining just enough that I could see the eyebrow hairs I missed whilst plucking last, as well as every wrinkle on my face! All of a sudden I realize I have a very long and very visible NEW wrinkle!!! It's huge and it's right under my left eye. I start to freak a little bit. I start to cry a teeny bit and I decide to talk myself through it. So, I say, "it's okay Larissa, you're going to be 38 soon. This kinda thing happens all the time. This is bound to happen sooner or later. Let's just accept it and move on." I don't know if it's the age thing or extreme recent stress or what. But, deep inside, I'm a little bugged. Well, a lot bugged actually.
Today I showed Tamra my new wrinkle. She admitted it wasn't there last weekend. I told her it was brand spankin' new. She tried to make me feel better by telling me that maybe it is from lack of sleep or eye puffiness. But, I don't think so. If it's still there by next week, I'm thinking it's mine forever. I've decided to call it my birthday wrinkle. I think I hate birthdays! I think I hate getting older! I think I hate that my life didn't turn out like I had dreamed! sniff...sniff I think I need pie!!!

What does hookers mean?

2009-01-07T09:33:00.001-07:00

So, it's New Year's Eve and I originally wasn't supposed to have the kids so I had to plan something last minute. I decided to start it off with dinner out at Cafe Rio with friends. We hadn't done that in a long time. So, we're eating our usual yummy Rio dishes when in walks three hoochies in mini skirts up to their...well...you know. Skyscraper heels and make-up like there is no tomorrow! Hair that is sprayed and perfectly in place. So, I casually and quietly state, "we get to celebrate New Year's with hookers!" Well, Mikaela hears me and says, "what does hookers mean?" I'm trying to contain my laughter as well as think quickly how to respond in a quiet manner so as not to drag the nearing Rio diners into this conversation. Then, Mikaela says, "does hookers mean...you like to freeze your legs off?" YES Mikaela...that is exactly what it means. Now eat your burrito!!! Nah, I didn't tell her that, but I wanted to! Then, Mikaela wouldn't let it go and asked, "how do they keep themselves covered with their skirts when they are sitting down?" Hmmmm....that is a problem! Oh ya, and one of the hoochies...totally burped out loud! Nice. Classy.

As we continued eating, we had tons of guys and girls trickle into the Rio. The aforementioned hoochies were part of this group. They were young and dressed to kill. Well, mostly young. There were a few oldies trying to pass themselves off as young-ins. Apparently, the Rio was their meeting place. I have no idea where they were headed, but those girls were in for a very long, cold, painful and uncomfortable night. I just can't imagine hanging out in a tiny skirt with cold legs and high heels. Ouch! There must be easier ways to attract a man! Maybe I'm just gettin' old!

We celebrated the rest of the night at home. We dipped strawberries, fortune cookies and pretzels and had those at midnight along with some pots and pans bangin', texting and fireworks from the local city on our doorstep. Happy 2009!!! I hope it's better than last year! I could really use a "new" year!

I'm back...

2009-01-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

I know I wasn't gone long, but I did have a few people miss me and by miss me I mean that they emailed me wanting to know where I had gone to just because I hadn't blogged for a bit. Ya, I'm feelin' the love. The fact is, I didn't go on some awesome vacation or have some awesome holiday plans. {sigh} I have simply been super busy, super stressed and super frustrated. It's always that way with my life. Always something (and by something...I mean someone) turning things upside down. It's crazy. Nothing ever seems to stay mellow for long. The holidays came and went and were completely chaotic. We did have some fun times mixed in with the madness...so that was good. I plan to post pictures from Christmas and our other escapades soon. I know you're all just a waitin! But...you'll have to wait a little longer because I went to Costco and waited for an hour for the pictures to transfer to a CD only to find out that the order didn't go through because of their computer problems. Nice! I love wasting my time and driving back and forth in a snow storm for no reason!

Happy {late} Birthday Billy!

2009-01-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Billy's birthday was December 18th and I didn't get around to posting his birthday post and pictures. So, I figure it's better late than never. So, here ya go.

Things I love about Billy:

He still lets us call him Billy

He is super funny

He is a good father

He is super smart
He is a talented builder

He is good with electronics

He is good at sports
He loves mayonaise (?)

He makes awesome potato salad

He will eat anything you make him (except peas)

He will make you laugh

He can talk for hours (must be the 4 sisters thing)

He is there when you need him

So, there are a few things I love about my brother Billy. I think he would prefer that we call him Bill but some things you just can't change. Sorry!

Flashback Friday

2008-12-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

This memory takes place somewhere between 1976-1978. It was Christmas day of that year and my parents discovered that I had not received the one specific present I had asked for. It was a special doll called "Baby Alive" that I had played with at a friend's house that summer while on vacation in California. It was like a real baby that you could feed and change it and it crawled! I wanted one just like it and I never told anyone about it. I thought about that doll for 6 months until Christmas came and I could ask for that doll. My parents were unaware that I had asked for this doll because I hadn’t told them. I had only told Santa. On Christmas morning, I unwrapped everything only to find out that there was no doll. I waited until all the presents were unwrapped and then realized that I was not getting the doll I had waited for. Upon discovering my disappointment and the reason why, my parents got on the phone (without my knowledge) and found a store that was not only open on Christmas day (which was unusual back then) but also had this specific doll. My father went out on Christmas day and drove hours out of his way to this store. He brought the doll home, they wrapped it and left it downstairs by the fireplace. Then, my mother sent me downstairs with the wrapping paper to be burned in the fireplace. I walked downstairs experiencing the most excruciating depression I had felt so far in my young life. You can imagine my excitement when I saw this lonely present sitting by the fireplace because it had been dropped there by Santa! I just knew it had to be my doll!!! It was many, many years before I realized what my parents had done for me. And I say many because #1 I'm the most gullible person you will ever meet and #2 this caused me to believe for a very long time! (It helped that I was the oldest child and didn't have anyone older to tell me. Plus, my parents rocked in Santa world! They were good at it.) I didn't find out until my 5th grade school teacher blew it for me. I'm sure I was pretty much the only 5th grader in the world that believed!

Those stupid little things called learning moments...

2008-12-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

I always look at the events, both large and small, that trickle in and out of my life as learning moments. When things happen repeatedly, I wonder what I am supposed to learn and why I am not learning? Because I really want these annoying events to stop happening. I know they can't...they won't because life is that way. Life happens. Crap happens. So, right now I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to learn from the latest. Now, this latest has crept into my life then left for a while and has now crept back with full force! I blame the economy! Actually, I really don't blame the economy.

Money!

I have always had issues with money. I used to be very frugal with money. VERY frugal! I am not as bad as I used to be but, I'm still bad. Now, I say bad because I let things have a greater value on them because I spent money on them. Does that make sense? What I mean is that if I need a coat and I buy a coat then that coat means a lot to me. I hold onto the coat. I try to take care of the coat. I try not to lose the coat. I wear the coat as long as I can. I don't want the coat ruined. I don't like to loan the coat because others don't care that I spent money on the coat like I do. If said coat is ruined or disappears...I freak out! So, my latest is with my children and their items. I am responsible to purchase all their belongings. I purchase the socks, underwear, pants, long sleeve and short sleeve shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, swim suits, church suits, church shirts, church pants, church shoes, regular shoes, flip flops, boots, coats, hoodies, hats, gloves, scarves, soccer cleats, sport pants for soccer, etc. Now, I list all these things not because I think you all don't know what all this is about because we all have to do that. But it's because I am responsible for these things alone...not someone else but ME. Okay, so you know what I mean now? Well...I have ALWAYS been the one to gather everything up and make sure "so and so" has this and "so and so" has that before we leave anywhere. And now...now I can't be that person. I have to leave it up to children and someone else to be responsible for all these items (that I paid money for, by the way, did I mention that?) to make sure they make it back home! So, let's just say that responsibility for things is not a strong suit for anyone in this dilemma. That leaves me upset, frustrated, and angry. So frustrated that I let someone know how mad I am. It doesn't matter. Nothing changes. So, I have been going over and over this in my head and have come to the conclusion that I HAVE to realize that these are just THINGS and that they don't matter and are replaceable. Right? You're all telling me this...I know...I get it...I do! But...my heart says let it go and my head says you can't let it go. These aren't just things. These are items of necessity. Some of them are necessary to live! I mean socks, underwear, a coat! And, they aren't replaceable! It is not feasible for me to constantly replace these items for three children! It's just not!

I have been on both sides of the financial spectrum. I have avoided total poverty and lived in "next-to" poverty (during school and residency - awful!) and while never being wealthy I have enjoyed "sufficient for our needs" (minus the house needs). I know what it's like to not make ends meet. To not be able to purchase anything except food and bare necessities. To not even think about purchasing something as minute as a bottle of fingernail polish. To not purchase any makeup (we're talking covergirl here) and use your sister's hand-me-down make-up or any other items people gave to you. To watch your children share a slice of pizza while you and your husband look at each other starving and wondering what in the crap are we going to do? To depend on family to provide your children with Christmas and birthday presents. For spouses not to buy any gifts for each other (not a good idea btw). To not be able to afford vitamins or gym memberships. To not have health insurance. To not take care of yourself because you can't afford to. To basically look like crap and feel like crap!

Then...I know what it's like to make ends meet. To be able to pay the bills every month and not worry that there isn't enough money. To not have to choose between food and clothes and gas because there is money for all of it. To go out to eat at a restaurant. To shop at Costco and not have to put items back on the shelf. To put a full tank of gas in your car. To take a vacation. To buy a gym membership and do things to take care of yourself. To buy fingernail polish AND remover AND cuticle cream AND to buy your own make-up!

So, somewhere I have to learn to let go of the THINGS and let go of my anger in having to replace what feels like EVERYTHING!

Seriously...can't someone else just learn to be more responsible? Is that really too much to ask?

GOSH!!!

Give me some sugah...

2008-12-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

I'm finally posting some pictures from the U of U/BYU game. Late? Ya...I know. That's okay. And, if you don't understand the title for this post...it's for the sugar bowl...yo! Even I knew that. Moving on...

We watched the game with the Marchants, Morgans and more Marchants. It pretty much rocked. They were all U fans (in case you couldn't tell by the scatter of red everywhere!) There was tons of yummy food and goodies (peanut butter bars - delish!) Tamra even had Pez footballs with the U on them for the kids. How awesome is that?

We had our own half-time entertainment which was pretty sweet. A bunch of us got up and danced to...something...Corbin Bleu or something...I don't know what and then the girls' did some cheer leading pyramids. Each taking a turn on top so as to be fair. Then, as you all know, the U won 48-24! We took pictures to show our enthusiasm. Then, as we were cleaning up, Tamra and Elyssa decided to get into a food fight with some cheese dip. I grabbed Keslee's camera and Mikaela and I started snapping shots. I brought my camera to this little shin-dig but couldn't find it until the night was over. That's what happens when someone else (Hudson) brings it in and drops it by the door! So, thank you to Tamra and Keslee for camera usage and to facebook for allowing me to steal the pictures! (Not pictured: Dalton and Bella and there isn't a good one of Deann either! Sorry.)

Everyone watching the game except for Kath.

She brought a magazine. It's good she prepared for boredom!

Josh and Hudson

Parker, Kennedy, Elyssa and Mikaela

Brianna

Larissa and Kath

Mike, Kyle, Doug and Heather

Half-time entertainment!

Kennedy, Elyssa and Mikaela

There were some acrobatics...

(Keslee and Austin in the background)

I dunno? Maybe tired from all the sweet pyramid building!?!

Parker

The girls playing with snickers. Tamra let her come too. Now, that's true friendship!

The U WINS!!! Yay!!!

(These were totally candid...not re-enacted at all!)

Kath, Tamra and Larissa

Rock on!

Chick fight! I think it was a tie!

Flashback Friday

2008-12-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

This memory takes me back to the high school days. Must have been around 1987-1988 - ish. We actually did this a few times and it was sooooooo funny! I really hope that no one comments on this post that "you musta had to be there"cuz it was dang funny. My friends Jennifer, Christie, Krista and I would all go out on a weekend night. This would have been either our Sophomore or Junior years, as Krista was the year ahead of us so it couldn't have been our Senior year. Anyhoo, we would head up to temple square and go into the visitor's center and grab some pamphlets entitled "Why Stay Morally Clean?" and then we would head up to the Capitol building or behind it, rather, where all the "parkers" (as we called them back in the day) would go to have their sweet make out sessions. We would drive around and toss one onto the windshield and inevitably the couple would interrupt the sweet make out session and hop out to get it. We thought we were so funny and really it was. One time somebody started to chase us but they didn't chase for long. Oh, those were good ole days and who knows...maybe we saved some poor girl from getting knocked up from one of those sex crazed, over-the-top hormone raging guys!!! Ya, it's all the guys fault. I blame them. j/k I had some slutty girl friends too.

Okay...ewww!

2008-12-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, Tamra and I had just finished working out and grabbed our stuff to head home. Tamra looks at her water bottle and says that it looked like more water was gone than what she had drunk. She starts worrying that someone drank out of her bottle. We both didn't know what to think and couldn't even imagine someone doing that, but also realized that sometimes the bottles look alike and someone could have made a mistake. So, being the germ freaks that we are (T more than me - btw) and just to be safe, Tamra threw the bottle away. Well...

The other day (so...months later...)Tamra and I were at the gym and just about finished with our workout. In walks this loud, obnoxious, huge, handicapped guy. He's a regular. He walks around and around the track and goes over and weighs himself and talks to everyone and taps everyone on the arm to say Hi and is just really loud. You can hear him all over the entire second floor. Anyway, he comes in and we notice (because you can't help it with the boisterous entrance that he makes every time). We finish our workout and start walking to the cubbies (you know the things that hold every one's stuff while you work out). As we begin our approach to the cubbies, I see the loud, obnoxious, huge, handicapped guy drinking from a water bottle. I am watching him and something tells me to keep watching him. I stop Tamra and we both kinda stand there to watch him. He begins to put the water bottle back in MY cubby! MY CUBBY...MY WATER BOTTLE. I freak out! "Oh my gosh, Tamra! He just drank out of my water bottle!" I say. At this point we're both freaking about it and wondering how many times has he done this without our knowledge. We are freaking out about how many germs we have sucked up without even knowing and how many germs this guy is going around drinking too. Gross! Needless to say, we hide our water bottles now!

Shoot...it's Flashback Friday...again!

2008-12-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

I have been working hard to get our Christmas cards figured out and sent early this year. I've done Christmas cards every year for the last 16 or so years. I don't try to out do myself each year but, I always do things the hard way. I know what I want and I want it to be perfect. I suffer from "analysis paralysis" and always get them out way too late. But, this year, they are basically finished except for the fact that I lost all those years of addresses when my computer crashed for good. (I could pay someone to get them off, but I don't want to spend the money at this point in time!) So, I am re-creating addresses and making a shout out to everyone to email me your addresses and those of people I know.

Now, on to Flashback Friday.

The story takes place in 1997. February to be exact. It was time for the annual semi-formal dance at the medical school. My friend Kirstie and I went out shopping looking for cheap dresses to wear to this fabulous function! Well, we searched and searched and couldn't find anything. If I recall correctly, she had decided to wear something she already had. I kept telling her over and over again that I wanted to find a $10.00 dress to wear. She, being the kind friend that she was, simply let me say it. She didn't try to sway me or talk me out of it or call me stupid or anything. But, deep inside, she thought there was no way! I think she thought I was a fool but she was too nice to tell me. Anyway, I went out by myself the next day to TJ Maxx and low and behold I found a nice black semi-formal dress in my size for $10.00 on clearance! I took that sweet thing in the dressing room and tried it on. Yep, it fit and I was so buying it!!! I came home and called Kirstie (remember those days? We didn't have cell phones and we couldn't just call and tell each other immediately while still at the store!) I was so excited!!! I have a picture of me in the dress but it is a print and a negative and my scanner and computer don't work so you'll have to imagine. I thought it was pretty awesome so just imagine awesomeness!

Kirstie...do you remember that?

Talk about The Secret! I haven't read it, but I've heard about it. That's my ONLY experience with that working. Too bad it only works with a $10.00 dress and not a house or something.

The internet now doesn't work on my home computer so this is actually posted late. Oops!

Alta vs. Bingham

2008-12-04T13:30:00.001-07:00

Me, my kids and my siblings, Alicia, Spew, Jon and the Marchants all went to the state championship playoff game. Nick went to Alta and his dad has coached over there for years so he came and sat on the Alta side. All of my siblings as well as Cham, Alicia, Spew and Jon went to Bingham so we sat on Bingham's side. The Marchants came to be supportive and have fun. They sat with us because...well...we are so much cooler than Alta! Anyway, Elyssa had some friends sitting on Alta's side so she and Mikaela sat over there. (traitors-ahem) We had a lot of fun and left the game very disappointed. Alta was ahead in the 1st quarter and then Bingham was ahead until the last few minutes of the game. There were a couple of bad calls and Bingham screwed up some, but if you watched the game, I don't think you can deny that those bad calls really screwed things up. I even heard through the grapevine (won't mention any names) that some Alta fans admitted it should have been Bingham's win. Anyway, at least they gave them a run for their money. As we were walking to our car, we saw all the Alta fans and players celebrating and as we drove down the street, we saw the busloads of Bingham players with their heads down and helmets still on. It really was sad! And, not to forget...I scored me a sah-weet hot chocolate for free!

Alicia, Derrek, Summer, Larissa and Dalton

Alta side...Boo! Traitors = Elyssa and Mikaela

Kyle, Tamra, Keslee and Austin

Loren, Ari, Cham, Derrek, and Billy

Spew ponders...

Tamra and Larissa

Jon (eagle.swoop.bacon)

Keslee and Austin

Alicia, Summer and Dalton

Mmmmm! Nachos! Josh and Hudson

Billy, Alicia, Derrek, Summer

D-Rock...Peace out!

Flash game!

2008-12-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

We went to the Flash game last night which is the D-league basketball team for Utah (they're an affiliate with both the Jazz and Celtics). Mikaela's choir sang the National Anthem. Nick and Suzanne came and I brought the kids and Hudson's friend Kaden since we had extra tickets. Don came and left after the Anthem. Everyone else bailed on us. We had to be there an hour early. So, the boys are sitting together and the cheerleaders had been practicing for that extra hour. Apparently, there was some discussion between them about how Kaden is "in love" with the cheerleaders and girls in general. Dalton and I proceed to have this conversation:

Dalton: Kaden is "into girls!"
Me: Oh ya?
Dalton: Ya, he said when I'm his age I will be into girls too but Hudson isn't!
Me: That's okay. Hudson is a slow poke in that area. So was Mikaela. It's okay.
Dalton: Well, I'm a fast poke cuz I'm kinda into girls too!
Me: (To myself - WHAT?!?) Out loud I say "Oh really? Which ones?"
Dalton: The ones in my class!
Me: (To myself - UGH!)

Throughout the evening, the cheerleaders would come and get kids to participate in different time-out activities. A couple of them came over and Dalton points to Kaden and says "pick him...he's in love with the cheerleaders!" They got some of the kids to go out and do the chicken dance. All but Hudson went out there. Dalton won a free pizza certificate from 5 buck pizza! Dalton informed me of this little piece of information last night. He said "Mom, when strangers look at me...they smile because I'm cute!" He is so cute! So, of course, me being the freak I am, had to add a little reminder about the strangers (which, btw, you shouldn't use the word strangers...did you know? There's just so much to know and screw up! Ugh!) All in all, it was a good night and a good game. It was close the entire game and the Flash lost by two points in overtime!

Children's choir singing the National Anthem

One of the Flash cheerleaders getting the kids together for a contest

See Mikaela on the right?

Dalton won a five buck pizza!

Half time entertainment. These were Russians in hideous costumes. The girl did all kinds of flips from this 4 inch board that the guys would hold and she would land them all!!!

The landing.

It was pretty cool in a freak show circus kinda way!

Final Score!

Flashback Friday

2008-11-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Today we go back to 1999. We lived in West Des Moines, Iowa in a large apartment building on the third floor. It was government subsidized housing which means there were lots of students living there. The graduate school in Des Moines had a lot of different programs. (DO, DPM, PA, PT and HCA degrees.) For some reason there were many LDS students at the school. Many of us in that apartment building were graduate students, LDS and in the same ward! We always had one or two neighbors right next door to us or downstairs from us that were fellow LDS students. It was fun. The apartment was such that our front doors opened to hallways as opposed to the outside. The laundry was on the first floor. Just to paint a picture. During this time period, Mikaela was 2 1/2 and I was pregnant with Hudson. It was our last year in Des Moines but we didn't know where we were going for the next few years. Here are a few stories from that year:

I decided to go to the mall for some shopping. I didn't do this very often as we had no money and I didn't need much from the mall. I can't remember what I was going for but I decided to go. I got Mikaela ready and myself. I was wearing these chunky heeled shoes and we headed out of our apartment door. We got to the second floor where we ran into the wife of a fellow LDS student. She had three little kids very close in age. She was carrying a newborn in a carrier and holding a sleeping one year old over her shoulder and a little 3 year old trailing behind. I was pregnant and only had Mikaela walking with me. So, being the super kind self that I am, I offered to carry her newborn in the baby carrier. (You can probably see where this is going!) I'm helping. We walk down the stairs to the doors outside. I open them and let her and the trailing two kids out and I step out and take two steps. One of those steps happens to land half on the sidewalk and half on the grass. My chunky heels can't take it and I begin to fall. FALL with a newborn in a carrier in my arms who is NOT mine! I fell and luckily was able to save the baby from injury and place her down gently. (Baby was totally unharmed during this fiasco - even stayed asleep!) You can imagine my horror at almost hurting another person's baby. The mother was so nice, but I am sure she wanted to yell at me or hit me or something. But, let's face it, she was carrying two kids down stairs which was WAY more dangerous then what I did. Needless to say, I sprained my ankle really badly and had to go back upstairs and ice it and wrap it and elevate it. As you can guess, we did not go to the mall! My ankle hurt for a long time and was really painful. I remember going to Young Women's that week and back in Des Moines, we had to drive all over the place to drop the girls off at their homes. We had our activity which was bowling or something and then we had ice cream. I remember my ankle was throbbing at the ice cream place and by the time I dropped the last girl off at her house, I was crying. I didn't know how I was going to drive back to my apartment because I was in so much pain. It was awful and stupid.

I remember we used to get coupons in the mail for Arby's. You could get a kids meal for 99 cents. Kirstie (was one of my best friends in Iowa and her husband was in Podiatry school too) and I would head out every so often and run errands together (usually Target) and we would drive through the Arby's and buy 5 or 6 kids meals and go to her apartment and eat them. When I was pregnant with Hudson I craved Arby's sandwiches. I know weird and gross but even more weird because I don't eat meat! We could all fit in her mini van together and would go all over Des Moines together. Those were good times! I miss them!

I remember the one time we had to take cover from a tornado. You could actually see the twister off to the west. The weather was crazy. Kirstie and I were on the phone not quite sure what to do. The news was telling us to take cover. We lived on the third floor and I guess we were supposed to go to the first floor. None of it felt very safe. Kirstie lived in the pool house on the first floor so she said to come and take cover over there. I gathered up all the photos I could carry and Mikaela and I ran over to her house. It was dark and there was heavy rain. It just pelted us. The wind was blowing like crazy. I opened up the glass doors to her hallway and Mikaela ran in and it just blew right out of my hands and slammed shut on us! We stayed with her and her kids in their master bedroom where we were close to a tv and the bathroom. We were ready at any minute to jump in the bathtub with the couch cushions to cover us. Mikaela and Dallin (Kirstie's second child who was Mikaela's age) were jumping on the bed having a party. They had no idea what was going on. Luckily, we didn't have to take cover and it all passed and no one was hurt!

2008-11-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Oh ya...it's a cat!

2008-11-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

To view a sweet slide show of the strangest cat you've ever seen go here: http://lifeasaredhead.blogspot.com/2008/11/very-princess-slideshow.html

Meet Princess. She is the cat that everyone SAYS they want...but don't worry...they don't. Except for the guy who currently has her. He makes no qualms about his feelings for Princess. His love doesn't run deep! He doesn't say he wants her and he means it! This is one of Jane's (Summer's old cat) offspring who is a hairless sphinx cat. What contributes to the freakiness is that she has severe neurological problems. Which means she doesn't walk right, run right, eat right or even hold her head up. She's weird! Derrek can't stand her. When she was born, Danielle wanted her but couldn't take her so Billy and Cham took her temporarily. That turned into permanently. Now Billy and Cham apparently love her, but can't take her to their new house yet. Derrek has since moved into their old house which apparently comes with the freaky cat! Evidently, freaky cat got invited to Glutton Fest '08...oh I mean Mutton Fest '08! I'm not bitter...

Apparently...

2008-11-23T20:48:00.001-07:00

the neighbor asked us if they could replace the large dump truck parked on the road near our house with an even larger school bus!!! Now that is trash-tastic!!!

Someone...please rescue me...preferably a smokin' hot male, mid to late thirties or early to mid forties (I'm not picky)!!!

Flashback Friday

2008-11-21T07:02:00.000-07:00

I'm starting something that I probably won't finish! Ah, story of my life...college, marriage, crafts, cleaning, etc. But, I have been having flashbacks of moments in my life and thought that I would document them. Some are interesting and some are boring. So, ya'll can just skip it if it seems too lame. It's mostly for me anyway. I thought I will call it "Flashback Friday" because I am sure I saw it somewhere and that is why the name keeps popping into my head. I have a sort of photographic memory. I remember stuff, but not where it came from. So, if you do this too, I apologize for stealing the idea. I don't know where it came from, but the name works. I'm not sure I will keep it up every Friday because I'm inconsistent like that but we will give it a try! I've been having some memories of Kindegarten recently. I don't know what this means and if someone is a therapist and can tell me then by all means...do! It's weird because I am remembering quite a bit from when I was 5 years old. I even remember full names of some of the people. Don't worry, I won't use them!

Kindegarten bus stories:

I rode the bus during Kindegarten year only. I remember missing the bus one day after school and standing there crying. I remember feeling like I didn't know what to do. Then, my neighbor who was probably a 3rd grader came walking by with her friend. She wasn't a nice neighbor, in fact she was a brat (more about that later) but she told me I could walk home with her. So, she so graciously let a 5 year old walk BEHIND her and her friend all the way home. I had to walk all that way down 126th! The thought of letting my Kindegartener do that scares me. Now, granted there are a million more cars on that road then back in the day but still. There are more stories about this 3rd grade neighbor but I'll save those for later as well.

Here's another one: I remember the bus coming to my stop (which was on the corner of my circle) and I stood up and this older girl stood up in front of me to let someone out of their seat and then she stood there till the bus started moving. When she sat down, I went up to the driver and told him that I just missed my stop. He asked if I could just get off at the next stop and I said "No." He ended up taking me on the rest of his route and driving me back to my stop. I don't think he was happy about it, but I was only 5! See, I needed to learn to speak up back then. If I had simply said "excuse me can I get past you, thanks." It all would have been fine. I was a scaredy cat dork even back then.

I remember riding home on the bus one day and I had decorated this cute Easter bunny. I had done an awesome job on it and I was so proud of it. The girl I was sitting by had an Easter bunny too, but hers sucked. She hadn't done an awesome job like I had and she knew it! So, what did she do? She wanted to TRADE! I didn't want to trade. My bunny was, as I said before, freakin' AWESOME! But, what did I do? I gave in and traded. I let her talk me into it. I didn't like it and I wasn't happy about it. After I got home, I showed my mom the sucky bunny and explained what had happened. I was so angry with myself! I remember plotting in my bedroom how I was going to go and knock on her door and demand my awesome bunny back! I never did it! I always have great plans and then I never follow through with them. Hmmm...I wonder where I get that from?

My mom told me that there was a boy on my bus that would sit by me and bug the crap out of me. I told her about him and told her that I had taken care of it myself. I just started sitting by someone else so he could no longer sit by me. See how I take care of business...I avoid the issue! I'm an avoider! Always have been. I'm working on that.

One last story to show how I avoid things. (Why am I confessing all of this?) The 3rd grade neighbor (whose name was Lisa) and I would sometimes play outside together. There really weren't that many kids to play with and I didn't really like playing with her, but she was sometimes all I had. Anyway, she wanted to babysit us kids. She wanted me to tell my parents that I wanted her to babysit us. She kept buggin and buggin. Finally, she pressured me enough to go in and tell my parents that I wanted her to babysit all of us kids. She waited on the porch. I went in the house. Closed the door. Stood by the door and waited a few minutes. Then, I opened the door and went outside and told her "they said No!" That was the end of it. She never asked again and I didn't have to ask my parents and risk them saying Yes. I took care of business the only way I know how!

Anyone need any Pampered Chef?

2008-11-18T23:52:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I hate this stuff too, but I like pampered chef products and I am trying to help a mom who really needs the help. If anyone needs or wants anything, let me know. She doesn't have her web site up yet, so we would have to do the order via the phone or in person. You can check out the catalog at www.pamperedchef.com or call me and I will drop one by. If you decide you want anything, don't order online or she won't get the credit. Call or email me and we will finalize everything. For those of you familiar with their products, they have 20% off their stoneware this month. Also, I absolutely LOVE their mini serving spatula. I buy them and people keep stealing them. They are only $4! So, they do have quite the price range of items. They do charge shipping so it isn't worth it to just buy the spatula but I love their garlic press and chopper and mini loaf stoneware too. I will probably close the party Tuesday of next week. Thanks!

This quote was sent to me today...and I liked it.

2008-11-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

"Challenges, difficulties, questions, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith."
--Elder Neil L. Andersen, "You Know Enough", Ensign, Nov 2008, 13–14

I loved this talk from conference. I always live with fear. Fear controls me, which makes it hard for me to have faith. I have to work on it all the time. I have to remember to "choose the road of faith."

This morning...

2008-11-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

I was awakened by "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" on the radio. Seriously?!? We haven't even had Thanksgiving yet. Talk about rushing through time and shoving the holidays down our throats!!!

On another note...an old man at our gym (there are a lot of them) asked Tamra and I if we were 16. Then, today as I jumped off my treadmill in the middle of my workout and passed this same old guy as I headed downstairs he made another comment about us teenagers working out. I laughed and thought to myself "Oh yeah, I'm a teenager. I can't even finish the treadmill without having to run to the bathroom!"

Anyone interested?

2008-11-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

I might run this race, unless it is toooooo cold. I can't run if it's super cold. Who'mIkidding...I can't run if it's nice out. But, you can walk/run so it should be okay. It's for a good cause and I don't have my kids this Thanksgiving and I only have to make sweet potatoes and rolls. So, if anyone is interested let me know you're going and you need to pre-register by the 17th. (I think? Don't quote me...check out the site.)

http://utahhumanrace.com/

P.S. Alicia - all ya gotta do is roll outta bed and show up. Can't get easier than that!

Parents Spot

2008-11-13T14:12:00.000-07:00

Here's my parents tip for the day...

Have you heard of sexting, salvia, and the pass out game? One is a felony, one is legal in some states and one can happen at the happiest place on earth! If you haven't heard about this, do some research. Stay one step ahead of your teens and their possible risky behavior. If you think your straight "A" student isn't stupid and wouldn't do something like this...think again. We all do stupid things and make stupid mistakes. No one is immune. Think of the dumb stuff you may have done as a teen, it's not an impossibility. And for any parents out there that don't understand what your first step should be in dealing with this...I'll be subtle...

Take the cell phone away!

Take the computer away!

It is not an invasion of privacy to view their texts and emails!

Do not drive them to the stores!

Do not give them money!

Do not drive them to amusement parks!

In other words...do not enable!

Let's put on our "parent's pants" and show them who's in charge!

*I do not claim to have all the answers or know everything, but I do know what doesn't work, I do a lot of research and I can learn from others' mistakes. I get tired of these kids thinking they run the world with their half-developed brains and their attitudes. Parents need to step up and be in charge!

Halloween

2008-11-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

I'm finally posting the pictures from Halloween. None of the kids were in school that day so they all dressed up and went to the school at 9:00 am for the parade. Mikaela dressed as a pirate, Hudson was a vampire and Dalton was spiderman. Loren and Ari wear different costumes all week. I can't keep up with those two. Cham decided we should have black spaghetti for dinner so I am posting pictures of that and the trick or treating that night.

All the kids

Mikaela

Hudson

Macie (Nick's daughter)

Loren

Dalton

Ari

Dinner

Black spaghetti (I know it looks gross! But, it's not!)

Seriously?!?

2008-11-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

I tag 10 people on my very first tag and not-a-one responds to the tag!?! Let's hope my google reader is just broken...ya that must be it! Otherwise, you guys suck!